The Ancient Ibicenco Fighting Art of Search Engine Optimisation

Monday, July 28, 2008

Google's Silly PR Games

So you cant fail to have noticed Google updated their toolbar PR again over the weekend, much to the dismay or glee of the majority of SEO civilians on DP and other forums who've been either crying like little lassies about meaningless demotions or gloating as though the propaganda they've been fed means anything at all on the battlefield.

HQ did ok if you believe the hype, up from domain 4 to 5, as did we, up from 3 to 4.

...However we just want to point out exactly why this is relatively meaningless to anyone but SEO Civvies. The 3 experimental pages on our main site, were named and titled as the target experimental search terms, that we have been testing since inception, ie..

SEO Power, - SEO Engine Room, & SEO Experiments & Theories. (links to pages)

As our site is now a mighty SEO war machine, as you would expect, all three of these phrases on show our relevant page in easy top 5 positions,

The phrase SEO Engine Room currently has our page in the #1 position above a domain and site actually called that.

The phrase SEO Power also has the page alternating between #2 and #3, again nudged right up underneath a domain of the same name. These pages were awarded a toolbar of PR4.

The final page however, SEO Experiments & Theories performs every bit as well as it's counterparts in two different searches, SEO Experiments & SEO Theories and is actually in more distinguished company, up there with the very serious Mr Martinez, and others who likely take their SEO experiments far more seriously than us..

and yet what did the Google toolbar Pagerank propaganda machine see fit to award the experiments page in the last skirmish?

...Yep, it's greyed out, which if you believe the thronging civvy hordes means it's supplemental, useless etc.. . Useless our SEO Warriors arses!! Try the searches for yourselves..

Google search SEO Engine Room & Google search SEO Engine

Google search SEO Power & Google search Power SEO (24 million pages)

Google search SEO Experiments & Google search SEO Theories

If you've assembled your Google SERP weaponry correctly "T3h Real Pagerank" is surging through your sites, whether you can see it or not. It's there, whatever misinformation or propaganda you're fed via the Toolbar, so just forget about it, and crack on, or the spoils of SERP war will be coming home with us tonight ;)

Over and out.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Clueless SEO Blog Comment Spammers

Ok Comment Spammer public outing warning time. We're not actually publishing the link, but anyone who wants to will find them easily enough from this, this is the second time this particular company / individual have left this same comment now over at Blog HQ.

In the great tradition started by the Hobo about the SEO clueless numpties at SEO Services India and their continual blog comment bothering, we now have another contender for the SEO Clueless awards.

They search Google blogsearch for their term of the day, arrive on the site unaware that we have them under close surveillance with our hi-tech spec ops equipment Woopra Live Analytics they drop their dirty package and flee the scene of the crime all in 20 seconds.

Yes, again, they're Indian, and this is their lame comment.
"Your blog is very informative n helpful .. thanks…..keep it up"

..The funniest part is this, from their site:
"No SEO professional will purposely violate [sic]nay[/lol] law:
This includes the continued and deliberate violation of
  • -Trademark
  • -Copyright
  • -Service mark
  • -Laws associated with spamming"
Well there arent really any LAWS that we know of per se, but there are rules and just good practices, and how about we give you a free SEO tip?

...DON'T DO THIS, ON SEO BLOGS, OR PREFERABLY ANYWHERE. may work on some of the public but you're pushing your luck at HQ or here, and indeed anywhere with half a clue, as all they have to do is insert your comment in Google and they can see your last day or two's work immediately..

In the meantime our SEO India invasion continues unabated, and we're already above you for your money terms, so be warned, next time we'll Hobo you right up and outrank you for your own name with a post just like this..

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Clueless SEO Humour

More SEO Humour firstly in a "name them and shame them" kind of way today, from the SEO Clueless section of the SEO Consultants site, and in particular their Clueless Link Exchange Directory made us chuckle ..designed to catch out hapless "SEOs" (if anyone using automated link exchange software anymore really has the front to call themselves that anymore) who specially requested a link exchange on this particular page:

... All have been gratefully received and kindly granted their wish of a place in their specially created Hall of Clueless SEO Numpty Shame ... if you see yourself in there you can apologise nicely and ask to be removed.

however, if you keep it up here, however instead of just deleting your nonsense we may do the same kind of outing shortly.. ..I mean honestly you wouldn't go up to invading Roman Legionaires as they hacked their way into your strongholds and ask them if they wanted to swap Mama's spaggetti sauce recipes would you? - No? .. well knock it off then. have been warned... ;) and secondly this

from Quality Nonsense is quite amusing, - not new by any means but we don't think most of the desperados & spammers who pass through this deserted outpost will have seen it before, (and theyre nofollow so they definitely won't have read it)

SEO Civilians probably wont understand at all but SEO Warriors should get the drift. have to click the image and go through to the original blog post because on theirs the different parts of the pie chart all go to the relevant places. It's actually so old (in SEO years anyway) that it now shows as a sitelink on their site if you search for "Quality nonsense" as well..

It'll be funny when that happens here, our irreverent sitelinks would be a sight to behold :)

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Viral Ibiza Video

Hahaha, HQ were chatting about making fit seo videos and seo for video generally a bit the other day, and were also approached about this Living TV thing in several capacities one way and another, we and also know a few of the people featured in it, and a lot more friends have been involved as extras, for the trailer etc but didnt actually want to be in the series, and so we were obviously curious to see what Living would do with it.

so seeing this on Youtube tonight raised a smile, its a semi-amusing viral, and from what we've seen of the first clips on Living, it may well be the best bit of the series ; )

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Indian SERP Invasion Underway

seo india

Reports are coming in this morning of final warnings being given of the imminent arrival of the Ibicenco SEO Warriors in the very heart of the Indian SERPs..

This is your last chance to surrender and hand over the lady, shown in the page here SEO India before a tiny island in the Mediterrean publicly embarrasses the entire Indian nations SEO firms by launching straight into the top of your charts in a matter of weeks.. :)

..Dont say we didnt warn you, and we would advise locking up your daughters. especially the pretty ones who will all want to return to Ibiza with us, we promise you.. ;)

This is not a drill, there will be no further warnings.

SEO (Adult) Humour

One last quick mention of something that made us laugh last night, but:

  1. be warned, it uses swear words, (not porn or anything) but no under 13's should look, nor easily offended types - but then you probably shouldnt be reading this blog either
  2. (see disclaimer top right)
  3. be quick it probably wont be up very long.

It addresses the fascination people have for Google, and asks is there realistically any other alternative, now or in the future..? Once again NOT CHILD SAFE & NOT WORK SAFE dont come crying to us if you dont like the F word, we are fighting troops and use strong language. but made us chuckle in that geeky SEO Humour kind of way...

New Search Engine? as of 20 July 08 appears to be down

chuckle chuckle..

CQSEO Tactics - The Art of SERP War

Ok, as HQ seem to have dropped any semblance of sanity and broken every military convention in the book by openly announcing our military SEO Demonstration objectives, thereby giving the enemy (opposition) every chance to dig in and fortify their positions, and / or ambush us on the way ap we thought we'd join in the fun by explaining a little more about our Close Quarter SEO Tactics and some of the less well known weaponry we use..

SEO SERP Reconaissance - SEO Spec Ops primary task is Recon.

You have to know your enemy, from upclose and dirty. They will often be very strong and able to easily repel simple frontal attacks.

But we usually have in our favour the sheer complacence that often comes with a stable #1 for a while, people get used to it, and think it is rightfully theirs, which allows for well planned undercover spec ops & teams to open the doors and walk right in.

So we firstly study their keyword / SERP performance, identify their strongholds (dont attack there) and all their areas of weakness (keyword coverage, content / site structure and inbound linkpower)

This is basic SOPs, using the Google search operators, allintitle: , allinurl: and allinanchor: will give you a very good idea exactly how strong they are, and where.

That site strongly dug in at #1 could be there for a variety of reasons, including superpowerful links, age & trust, or more and better content, or often justbecause they're just better organised (optimised) than the rest. It's important to know exactly why that is as best you can why that is before mounting your assault, so you can aim at their blind side/s.

Then you look at their logistics and backup organisation, keyword research-wise. This is where we mount open OPs (Observation Posts) and also use the embedded undercover operators.

Open OPs include - Google's updated keyword research tool & any of the proprietary backlink checkers, we have classified weaponry we cannot discuss that we use for this, however Yahoo's sitesearch link: command in combination with Joost de Valk's SEO firefox plugin will give adequate information for SEO Civilians to get the picture.

Then we radio into our embedded (spy) operators who have been working in an amongst the enemy for a while gathering intel into their operations for the latest update.

Whilst we obviously cannot divulge everything about them we are safe to say that some of our operators use this kind of technology to gather as much information about enemy movements and positions as possible..
..which combined with our knowledge of their general organisation should start to show where they may be vulnerable to attack.

Probe their defences which point we call in the (keyword) sniper team with orders to engage if the opportunity presents itself and take a long range pot shot or two at them to see how they react..

This is usually in the form of a carefully structured blog post or two from an established blog with sufficient strength to take shots from the halfway line and punch in close, and really see how strong and well defended they are, Sometimes we even get lucky, and maybe even take out any sentries caught napping or with their pants down..

The recon team then start sending out constant fighting patrols from the OP to probe the enemy perimeters and really see how well guarded they are, and RV (rendezvous) with the embedded troops inside who will let us know exactly where to punch through, and lately have often unlocked the gates Trojan Horse style for the Fighting Patrol to walk right in, (at which point it is all over for their ladies, they are coming with us.. ;) )

For the SEO Civilians amongst you this military jargon probably doesnt mean much so I'll try to use simple examples in civvy language you may understand.

Say we were talking about the keyphrase " Ibiza widgets" as the primary objective, but the enemy are heavily dug in and defended there, and it could maybe take more manpower and resources that we are prepared to commit, and probably a long drawn out an bloody battle that we have no guarantee of even winning ultimately to take the position..

But research shows possibly that "Ibiza widget" is not as heavily searched, (hence optimised for) and sometimes shows different results from the plural, - which is always good as it indicates a lack of total dominance by the enemy) nor are "widgets Ibiza", "widgets in Ibiza" "red widgets Ibiza" blue widgets Ibiza" etc..

You get the idea..? So some of those are targeted by the keyword sniper teams initially, and any success obtained is first fortified and backed up, and then we build from it.

Conquer / Consolidate

Once we own "red widget Ibiza" and "Ibiza widget in blue" the crossover effect starts to give strength to the central theme of "Ibiza widget" and extra reinforcements turning up from "Ibiza green widget" will only strengthen the cause, until we have basically surrounded and infiltrated the enemy position. Structure and write your site and content to target the long tail and related terms, and the easier terms first, letting it build naturally until you can look the dug-in forces right in the eyes and mount the final push for "Ibiza widgets"

Regroup, reinforce further, and then go again..

..At which point (only then) do they usually notice that they are surrounded, outnumbered, out-manoeuvred, out flanked, and will quite often just surrender without the final battle even being fought.

We've done this in Malta, Gozo & Mallorca recently, all of which have folded very quickly under the combined stealth and strength of the Ibicenc SEO Warriors, and we currently have campaigns underway in various stages of progress in Spain, India, SEO for Flash, simple / easy SEO, that kind of thing.

The CQSEO Strategy & tactics can be hence summarised as:

Reconaissance, Intel gathering & analysis, sniper teams, probing fighting patrols, infiltration, consolidation of victories, regroup, and do it all over again, or..

Divide, Probe, Conquer, Consolidate, Regroup.. and on ad infinitum until the whole Widget world is under (y)our control... ;P

It's beachtime for SEO Ibiza again, hasta luego amigos.. over and out.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

SEO Web Design Malta

Right, news has reached us of some mild insurgency (well, lip anyway) on the SEO Malta & Gozo campaign. ..Apparently some local numpty "doesn't believe in SEO or something" ?

..after we stopped laughing (several hours) we decided he obviously needs a bit of a Google SERP kicking to drive the point home.

The temptation to put this deluded rebellion down once and for all by outranking this plum for his own company name is very strong, but as we always try to act graciously in our conquered lands, this will always be the last resort..

So instead we thought we would just go after their prime terms web design malta :)

We warn you, do not make the boys from Blog HQ bring the SEO War to you, because they will get really rough, and we promise you, that you will prefer cooperation and the far gentler art of SEO on the beach.

As usual, the terms are:
..and of course mandatory swearing of your undying allegiance to Ibiza Global Radio.

We await your surrender forthwith.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

The Fittest SEO Assistant in the World?

Over on Jaan Kanellis' Blog (..just noticed spelling mistake Jaan sorry, dyslexic assistant!) a while back he had a bit of a hit by taking SEO back to basics, well, not so much SEO, as just back to basics, i.e. sex & sex appeal, with a post called: Who is the best looking lady in SEO

..Now everyone knows that sex sells, so this was canny move on Jaan's behalf and obviously attracted a good amount of attention. And there are indeed some lovely looking ladies there, (plus a few also rans to make up the numbers I suspect - no offence, each to their own, beauty is in the eye of.. etc)

However living in Ibiza, we know a little about foxy ladies, as millions of them make a beeline for us every summer to shake their booties in the world's best clubs, and experience the Ibiza vibe of freedom & party hedonism, so we feel more than qualified to comment on this.

And we have just hired a new SEO assistant (female) and quite literally believe she may well be the fittest (as in sexy fit, not running / exercise fit) SEO assistant in the world, and who will be presenting our new video for our Simple SEO section very shortly, so that you may judge for yourselves.

The best thing about it is that she is also clever. I mean really clever, Masters Degree in International Relations clever. She's also a model, presents on radio, TV and several other jobs besides..

Currently all we can reveal is that she is in this picture below, but we think you should probably subscribe so you don't miss the new video / announcements etc...

..and this is before the troops return with the latest (very willing) spoils of war from the seo services india campaign..

We are a very lucky little SEO team indeed to be stationed here in Ibiza.. ;)

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