Ibiza Girls Images Uncovered

Ok, it's not all trolling comedians and numpties around here you know, we undertake serious ops too, none more so than policing and defence of our Ibiza Girls image searches.

So this is an Ibiza girls special op uncovered, as opposed to the kind you were probably looking for .. we can do that kind of trickery here.. ;)

Keyword-wise, the SEO soldiers will immediate recognise the tactics on this post, but for the SEO civilians amongst you passing through we'll spell (some of ;) it out simple like..

Phase 1. - Manuevre our fave Ibiza girls pic belonging to Ibiza Voice into images #1 or thereabouts and then hand back SERP ownership. See Google search here Ibiza Girls

Phase 2 - Dig in and reinforce the position by further associating the picture with other terms, party girls, space girls, girls on girls, and ultimately now HQ are getting hits from just "girls" here now.

Phase 3 - Having rooted out the usurpers in the SERP hand back ownership of target image to Voice with hugely increased image ranking and hence traffic. (underway)

It has been observed however that this SERP is swarming with universal search operators, with only 3 out of 10 organic search listings making it through alive as shown on the satellite report below, so stealth has been paramount.

Can you spot the embedded SEO spec ops image sniper deeply entrenched in the SERP below?




..No? haha, give you a clue..



In your sitting room having dinner with your ladies .. ;)

This is a complex ongoing operation, and on the whole has been conducted with pinpoint laser strike accuracy to ensure minimum SEO civilian casualties as far as possible, however in an SEO war, it is inevitable there will be casualties, and for this we apologise.

Our hearts go out to those who have lost dear ones (images or sites) in these skirmishes, but it's for the good of the Ibiza girls organic & image SERPs, which you had better believe, we will defend vigorously.

As you were.

Superior SEO .. the game is on..

Ok so apparently seo comedian from the previous post is now to be taken at least semi-seriously as he is now up to #2 for Superior SEO using what some might label not so superior seo web design techniques.

Having backed off from a serious discussion about Superior SEO web design here promising to calm down, we have it on good authority he's quitely gone off "to prove that lot wrong, my way is the best way 10k words in a scrollbar rules!! .." etc. :)

However due to Google still being eminently spammable, its working for the moment anyway.

HQ have already called in the airstrikes but Google is being slow in caching so we're on the case as well now. This might well end up a bit like bullying the retarded kid in the playground by the time it's finished, but well hey, this is serious SEO ethics business,

because you rank for a phrase, does not mean you are that phrase.

that would be like ranking for "genius amazing brain surgeon" .. get lost with your scalpel nutter!

Of course this applies to us too, but we are not spamming Twitter Propellor articles marketing links all aimed at these silly phrases and generally telling everyone else we can find who will listen, how great we are because we rank for a silly phrase.

Superior SEO Design our collective arses, the game is now on.

D1G1TAL Numpty update

Ok listen up.

D1g1tal numpty has now been handed over to us.

As he clearly now thinks he's home free he is cracking on with his numpty-world domination plan involving "pooling together no-brainers" and getting the shareholders to moonlight as software testers from what we could gather.

Well that's all well and good but recce team think it's just a little bit cheeky, plus a bit retarded, to be putting "SEO" in his meta kw tags :) ..what a numpty.

he's also committed SEO Hall of Cardinal Shame Offence #7

<meta name="robots" content="index, follow">

..what a numpty.

It might be a laugh to now canvass all his latest brand new site'owners explaining the inherent technology and search engine visability challenges they face from their hi-tech, expensive, flash SEO-useless sites. :)

SEO Clowns & Comedians

"Come in Hooston, we have a problem.."

So HQ's "Guaranteed Houston SEO spammer" or "Cease & Desist"Clown as he's affectionately known as here seemingly took the best advice offered to him, and promptly deleted his offending website rather than engage with us (..we get that a lot, in case you're wondering ;)

It's a shame really because covert ops dug up some wonderful background articles, on amongst other stuff the power of blog comment spamming (& if only he'd done it himself instead of outsourcing we'd probably have never have fallen out) and one beauty in particular from one of his two other newer and less silly sites, we'll quote a little now with name removed.. [us in red]

..Yes look sunshine, not sure how to break this to you, "hanging with your homies" eating pizza and playing playstation doesn't make you an SEO. ..Anyway, he's been downgraded to "no discernable threat of any sort" now so we have to leave him alone.

And June's SEO Comedy Award has to go to..

< snip > Edited by High Command.

this guy turned out to be OK via email comms if a bit new to the game. He's just making as much noise as possible with his new company, sensitive info removed.. As you were...

< /snip >

BWAHAHahahahahahahahahahaha.. ...seo comedy genius in the making :)

spec ops out.

Ibiza Health Alert?

Google Alerts for Ibiza does spam us with all kinds of nonsense over the summer season but just occasionally a funny one makes it all worthwhile..

Here is one such joke post that cracked a few smiles this morning, courtesy of thedailymash.co.uk

MEGA-CLAP TERRORISES IBIZA

A MUTANT strain of gonorrhoea has laid waste to large sections of Ibiza and is threatening to invade the UK this summer, experts have warned.

Dancing in their own filth

The new breed of clap, which has proven resistant to conventional antibiotics, has already razed several nightclubs to the ground and is currently encamped in San Antonio.

The giant gonorrhoea, named 'Crotchzilla' by locals, first appeared after strange glowing lights were seen in the sky over Ibiza Town last month.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Radioactive germs must have attached themselves to the gen1tals of a local lothario, or skank.

"It will then have mutated to monstrous proportions in the dank, soggy heat of an Ibiza foam party."

Amateur footage, filmed by a local bar owner, shows Crotchzilla swatting police helicopters out of the sky and crushing British-themed bars underfoot.

One eye-witness said: "It was a bit like Cloverfield but with more suppurating gen*tal sores."

The Foreign Office said it was now inevitable the monster would reach the UK hidden inside a set of holidaymaker's ar$etraps.

A spokesman said: "We are at the mercy of Crotchzilla. All it will take is the combination of a warm, humid summer and our in-built need to f**k anything that moves after two bottles of pear cider."

Texas SEO Rednecks

Ok stand to.

SEO Spec Ops are @ Bikini Amber as of 09.00 hours this morning after some "Hooston SEO" type clown opened comms with HQ today with an emailed "Cease & Desist", after initially spamming their blog, then not liking the comment replies.. ?? !! :)

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!

..Said clown was duly given his marching orders in blunt language by return, and we've had the situation under surveillance ever since.

It would appear at this point that the Texan SEO rednecks have tonight deleted their site, and are retreating (run away, run away! :) unless it's just a server error or something.

It was a pretty naff site anyway, giving "SEO Guarantees" and the individual in question does have two more slightly better looking ones to play with, so it's no great loss to the internet.

We've been digging deep and are kinda hoping he tries further intimidation tactics because this redneck SEO is going to have an awfully red neck (and face) by the time he's finished trying to dig himself out of this hole.. :)

watch this space..

Funniest Link Exchange Request 2009

Maybe only funny to Brits (expats obviously) with our inate toilet humour, but this one cracked a few battle faces into smirking on parade when it arrived this week, HQ got a spam email link request from a US SEO firm called "NoB SEO" :) ..we kid you not..

and replied with the volley below:

Nob SEO? are you serious? you do realise that nob is the English slang for weiner? :)

I dont think we can link to a company called nobSEO but you could try our young mate over at www.optimize-my-ass.com

maybe you could optimize his ass with your nobSEO? :) ..good luck with that

Well they might not want to link to them because of their silly name but we have no such qualms, so have a one way link with no recips required on us, and hearty congratulations, that name is so inspired, it's almost linkbait..

Then it's back to the latest Intel (analytics) funnies, this week we have:

• "prove you have a clue"

• "you have a clue and"

• shut up numpties

• ibiza fighting girls

• ladies puppies

• maltese girls doing it

• NTL letter cat

• Maltese "not allowed in Ibiza" :)
  

• Ibiza + girls how do I get me one?

• is it easy to pick up grils in Ibiza
  

• how do i know what spec my new ibiza is

The last of these is a question a lot of Ibiza residents have been wondering for a little while now.

Whilst the penultimate reminds us of the time last year that Brothel (Gringos) on the Ibiza -Santa Eulalia road painted "Grils" instead of girls in 4 foot letters on their newly decorated outside wall :)

Funniest Forum Post of the Week

Digitalpoint is responsible for some classic posts it must be said.

hi i have a seo site

---

hi i have an seo site and it,s ranking is down despite of having 47 links on google and it doesnot even apears on the domain keyword what do you think might be wrong and it,s domain age is 1 month and link age is also 1 month.

Yes..... :)

Does anybody else see anything slightly ironic about this or are we just getting old and cynical?

SEO Baghdad - Iraq

Right listen up..

It's only just occurred to the Military that although things are slowly coming round on the ground in Iraq, their SERP is still completely unsecured, in fact, "wide open" would be a good description. So we have orders to mobilize immediately and secure the position.

Several things to watch out for lads, after the failure of the US initial approach..



..and the surprise success of the sheep-powered rocket launchers in the SEO Afghanistan campaign, they now seem to have wholesale adopted the:

"if you can't beat them, join them"

..attitude, and are now embracing animal weaponry with a vengeance.

Sheep are obviously in hot demand..



and Donkey bombs are in blatent use on both sides now..



Not to mention the new superbreed of "War Donkeys"..



So keep your eyes and ears open (for loud baa-ing and braying sounds mostly..) and lets get in there, get the job done and get out again without any more of that nonsense from last time, right?

Absolutely no more of that Taliban-trolling ok? ..yes, yes I know it was funny, but we're not here for fun, this is serious seo business, got it?



Ok, you know the drill, Radio Silence until those Iraqi ladies are safe and sound..

Over and out.

SEO Mastery & the Funniest Nav Link Titles Ever..

Ok this guy is just the best.. :)

we wrote about him a couple of weeks ago, back here - Return of the SEO master, but seriously he is hours of entertainment.. the "how to make a blogger blog" podcast is the funniest thing we've listened to for a long time, samples below..

"you really need to develop the habit of writing like a search engine spider.." (mmkay.. :)

"dont be concerned that people are going to read your writing and think you're an idiot.." (...this never bothers you, does it Oh master? :)

"...because you are writing for search engine spiders"

..Although this does explain a lot, isn't this in direct contravention" with Google's "content for people not engines" approach hmmm...? or in plain words, "spam" ?

and when you Google " name surname" seo - you get 42100 results, we only made it 67 pages into the results and were still finding a never-ending procession of new Spammy-McSpamSpam domains, subdomains, free blogs, press releases etc etc etc recurring.

To be fair we expect he's right and the vast majority of these have never been exposed to a human eye, but still.... :) and check these main navlink titles (and SE friendly permalinks ) on the brand new flagship blog..

"...offers top level online promotions for large to mid sized companies..."

Classic comic SEO mastery from the industry's finest.. (names replaced with xx's)

• /?cat=4" title="domains and hosting, domains, domain names, domain registrations, buy a domain where to buy a domain, how to buy a domain, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxbestdomains.com, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxbestdomains.net, xxxxxxxdomains.net, bestdomainsxxxxx.com, .com, .net, .biz, .info, .ws, .mobi, .tv">Domains and Hosting

• /?cat=5" title="email marketing with autoresponders, email marketing, autoresponders, how to use email marketing, xxxxxxxxxx.net, xxxxxxxxxx.net autoresponder system">Email Marketing with Autoresponders

• /?cat=34" title="free classified ads, post free classified ads, classified advertising, post free classified ads">Free Classified Ads

• /?cat=66" title="Google Pay Per Click Advertising, Is Google Advertising Good For You, Google Advertising, Pay Per Clicks, Pay Per Click Fraud">Google Pay-Per-Click Advertising

• /?cat=51" title="How to Hire an SEO Firm, Hiring an SEO Consultant, Hiring an SEO Master">How to Hire an SEO Firm

• /?cat=61" title="Internet Advertising, Advertising, Classified Advertising, Advertising Your Business on Google, Google Pay-Per-Click, Google Pay-Per-Click Advertising">Internet Advertising

• /?cat=3" title="search engine optimization services, seo services, seo, sem, search engine marketing, website optimization, web optimization, google tools for webmasters, how to obtain top positions on google">Search Engine Optimization Services

• /?cat=9" title="seo ezine articles, ezine articles, free ezine articles, ezine articles for google positions, ezine article publisher, how to write ezine articles for publication, ezine article syndication">SEO Ezine Articles

• /?cat=7" title="seo newsletters, seo articles, seo insights, seo perspectives, seo press releases, seo on google, how to obtain top positions on google, writing google content">SEO Newsletters

• /?cat=6" title="seo videos, search engine optimization videos, search engine optimization youtube videos, youtube.com, xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx on youtube, yourtubevideos.net">SEO Videos

He even "has a Google spider permanently attached" to his forum..

We kid you not. :)

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahaha... !!!

SEO Imposters

Ok listen up, long range undercover operatives have been scoping out various SERPs of late and more and more we're coming across blatent SEO imposters.

Now we're not even going to comment on their SEO skills, and as they've been found (in the #30's) in some reasonably competitive searches (SEO services UK et al) they obviously have some idea, when it comes to SEO that is..

We're not saying that they're impersonating SEOs as such, but that they are actually from one place and pretending to be from another.. For example, if you're calling yourself a UK SEO specialist.. dont put grammar like this on your website:

UK SEO Specialists is leading Internet marketing and Search Engine Optimisation Company based in the Manchester (UK) We only believe in ethical way or white hat seo because of there are various disadvantages in black hat seo. Google might be send website in sandbox if use unethical way

We at Uk web design xxxxxxxxxxx is UK based leading website designing company providing professional website design service..

blah blah blah..

So, no UK contact number on the the site/s, just a contact form, and a poor grasp of the English language, not so good for a "UK SEO specialist" eh? :) - in fact, on reading, there's a definite ring of "It ain't half hot mum" about it, truth be told..

We've seen this same thing before in the SEO Sydney searches here SEO spam down under and a few other places.. hmmm... :)

We'll leave you with our favourite lines for last, enjoy :)

Our SEO experts having SEO certificates from various online exams and knowledge of programming so they are able to changes in it.

Our goal is only to deliver maximum valuable traffics to you. We update ourselves as per search engine algorithm and make changes in our strategies which will improve more revenue and deliver traffics

Yes, sure it will :) ..we're sure we will be showing fairly high for SEO imposters shortly, and anyone with a clue can find these sites and judge for themselves :)

Ibiza Living TV update

Right this has been a spec ops project since last summer, so its time for an update.

Many (maybe 3 or 4) of you might remember we declared Googlewar on Living TV 's Ibiza (and hence Virgin) over the pile of sh*te they tried to pass off as the real ibiza last summer.

Well when spec ops get dug into something there's no letting it lie, and as Branson has not yet apologised in person the Google harassment continues. We've linked it into the Ibiza uncovered searches so anyone looking for that gets to see it, and now we've also linked it in with Virgin cable complaints in general (because, in a way, it is, isnt it?) and are starting to see traffic from that.

There is no getting away from it, we are going to make sure anyone with any interest in Ibiza TV or Living TV Ibiza, or Virgin complaints in general, gets the opportunity to read our diatribe.

"They smile in your face, all the time they wanna slate your place the back stabbers, back stabbers, they smile in your face, all the time they wanna slate your place the back stabbers, back stabbers..."

..and don't come back until you're sorry.

Oh, and Google if you wouldn't mind awfully, can you get on and cache this >>SEO India<< please? were waiting on it.

As you were.

SEO India - what's the matter with you all?

Right listen up.

HQ been sorely disappointed at the lack of response to the FREE SEO INDIA link competition.

We know there are thousands of Indian SEO companies out there, 99% of whom, this link would be highly beneficial to. So instead of your constant hit and run one liner attempts on the blogs, how about someone step up to the challenge and prove that they do know what they're talking about, and that they have a well put together site.

Is this really too much to ask for a link that will do most of your SEO India serp work for you?

..Searching Google for link:www.seoibiza.com/blog/ and then trying hit and run comments on those places and our blogs is not going to get you anywhere.

Get over to the competition and prove you have a clue, and it's yours. Look the post about the competition is on the first page for:

"SEO India link" <<--Try search

And the winners link will be on the page that links to, plus of course on the comments on the competition. We see you on there via Woopra, what are you waiting for? What are you scared of?

We'll treat all entries fairly,. we promise.. ;)

Tactical Sitrep Ibiza

Breaking news.. some cheeky monkey has only gone and registered www.seospecops.com ..way to never be number #1 for your own name.. (we hope :)

The reason HQ's Numpty is so confident he won't get banned from Google is that he is doing the exact same thing, he has a bundle of hidden links to his HTML pages (that are shown through Flash) hidden behind a full screen Flash gay-scapade.. And he hasn't been banned yet, so this is obviously proof that "Google won't ban you for hidden links..." .. yes ok Dick. : -/

The amusing "Ibiza" searches are slowly returning, these made us chuckle this week..

• women commando ibiza how many - ( seriously.. :)
  

• girls going commando

• ibiza + yoga + sex :) ( ..there's a thought, haven't optimized for that yet..)
  

• the funniest music in Ibiza 2008 ( - David Guetta, no contest ;)
  

• what part of Ibiza is Danni Minogue's house
  

• Ibiza "how to blag it all summer" - got to admire their fighting spirit, down but not out.. :)
  

Seriously these are all real.

And to top it all off HQ have just announced they're shortly going to publish all their advanced tactics just for a laugh.

whatever next?

The Return of the SEO Master

We could possibly have been accused of being a bit dismissive, if not even a little mischievous in our approach to this guy in the past regarding the Superior SEO campaign, but everyone can learn, and it looks like he's got it all sorted now..

check Search Engine Spider Food.. awesome, seriously.... :)

"Tip for the day.." Do ... not .... shoot ... yourself ... in the foot! .. by thinking ....

....that you know how to approach the internet" :)

"If you need a true.. ..search engine optimzation services, then you should call me...

"I am the SEO Master, I am the wildcat SEO Master..

"I can do.. for you and your business, what no-one else can do..."

This is exactly what the dull statistical world of SEO needs, an ancient Master with

"T3H R34L 5EO" :)

We hereby retract everything we ever thought or implied about our man here, and bow before the true SEO Master.

Ibiza Numpties Puppies Ladies & Funnies

Spec ops have been a bit quiet of late, not deep undercover terrorizing a SERP near you, nor optimizin' your ladies you might be surprised to hear :)

But we found this one today and think they should be higher than their current #21 if possible, lets see what we can do.. ;)

..we haven't really had much to get our teeth properly into for a little while, and one of our number just got a new puppy :) ..so it's all been a bit laid back for a while.

HQ have been dishing out Google bashings to Numpties quite well enough without our help, but we suspect we may get an order to rank the post for his name (without including his name in it, a spec ops speciality, the linkbombing filters make it harder these days)

We would prefer to wait till the post has critical mass of IBLs and then 301 it at his actual site and see if we can swap the two over in the charts :)

..but we probably wont be allowed, "professionalism an' all that.." lol..

In the meantime this site, canucklehead.ca has been amusing us hugely, it really is very funny.

..and speaking of funnies they've been a bit slow on the analytics too of late but here's a sprinkling of spec ops hits over the last few weeks.

• beautiful ladies uncovered

• girls of ibiza uncovered

• ladies going commando

• girls in malta need help
  

• maltese girls need a man

• 2 malta girls need a man :) - nothing like a bit of optimism.
  

• horse seo :) ??!!
  

• world sex seo - wtf?? - if this is a tournament we are definitely entering :)
  

Island ladies optimized!

So the image optimization testing has been a success.

We now have the picture we chose to be #1 for Ibiza Girls belonging to Ibiza Voice (reclaimed back from the Welsh pretender a few posts ago) and showing in the right place for it's rightful owner.

And our delectable choice of young lady to champion for Maltese girls is now at the #1 spot as well, but still currently showing on Spec Ops rather than the owners blog at the moment, but we would expect that to revert back with the next few weeks..

The Mallorca girls image is also showing up at #2 in the Maltese SERP & #3 for Mallorca girls :)

All in all, we think if any of you need your island ladies given a good optimizin' you should probably come see us.. ;)

Ryanair Trolled for Links?

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving case.

Ryanair have been very effectively trolled for links in a masterclass of linkbaiting, which we are going to jump right on the end of and link at too because someone needed to troll these tools.

Jason Roe, SEO blogger noticed a slight bug on the Ryanair website and blogged about it, then it all went a bit surreal with the help and input of their genius "senior programmers" 1, 2 and 3 who appeared on the blog comments in question and showed off the kind of PR and customer care skills usually reserved for the general traveling public at large on their outrageous lastminutecharges.com website, or at their infamous check-in desks.

Our troll-alarm bells have been ringing since the start as to whether the "senior programmers" did actually work for Ryanair or if the whole thing was planned and engineered by the genius who is Jason Roe SEO ;)

..but Spec ops have done some research and are satisfied that the approach and behaviour shown to public on this blog is genetically highly similar to that of the www.ryanair.com sales website and therefore very likely came from the same place.

Contrast this to the virgin complaint letter thing from a couple of weeks ago, and you can very clearly see the class divide between Branson's slick PR handling & Ryanair's balls-out arrogance.

That said, once the robbery is actually over (you are successfully past the airport security and no further last minute charges can be compulsarily added to your booking) we have been impressed with the Ibiza to Stansted service this winter, and begrudgingly have to admit that Ryanair do ultimately supply good value for air distance covered.

If only they didn't do it so distastefully all the way through to that point we're sure everyone would be much happier with them generally.

Its not even that we begrudge paying, its that we don't like to be told its one price, then find out one surcharge (at a time) that it's something else entirely..

"...and will you also be breathing on our plane sir? that'll be 20 Euros.."

and hopefully some Ryanair muppets will come over here and have a go, where they'll find their reception much less polite ;)

Ibiza Scammer Alert!

Ok listen up.

It has come to our attention that scammers are using the ol' Western Union / DHL deposit scam by advertising apartments that seem too good to be true on local property lettings sites and trying to get the potential tenants to send money in exchange for the keys to even see the apartment.



This is a well known Western Union scam

WARNING: Never send payment by WESTERN UNION or MONEYGRAM for any reason!

This includes:

• Rental deposits
• Loan fees
• Job application or visa fees (No legitimate employer requires payment of any kind from a prospective employee)
• Making a purchase
• Or any other reason!

Sending or receiving payment by Western Union or MoneyGram is against our terms of use.

Anyone who asks for payment by Western Union or MoneyGram is a scammer.

Be wary of deals that are "too good to be true".

Watch for landlords/owners who are out of the country, travelling or cannot meet you personally.

We've seen these adverts on www.segundamano.es and www.fotocasa.es so far but they're likely to be on others too, so beware.

And really, how unlucky for them, trying to scam friends of the world renowned SEO Spec Ops group, on the internet, was a bit daft, so we now have a new Google-trolling for amusement project to get stuck right into for 2009, in our very own Ibiza 419 baiters style.

Muppets.

Edit.. as Billy the Kid allegedly used to say... "I'll make you famous"

Virgin NTL & Living TV Ibiza complaints.

Right so while the boss is getting ready to swan off to London next weekend for some "onsite training" (read schmoozing) with his favourite boutique hotel clients, we were chuckling at the Virgin complaint letter that made it to a post on their blog last week.

They liked it so much not only did they post about it but wanted to employ Oli as a guest blogger too. ..Not sure if he's allowed to now though after all the furore.

& well, yea the letter itself was OK, but not sure it was worth all the fuss really, if it wasn't just one big Virgin PR stunt at the beginning, it probably is now. Coincidentally a while back Virgin absorbed the old cable company NTL, and so now have to answer to our favourite ever, (and slightly downmarket it must be said) complaint letter aimed at the nightmare that was NTL.

it's here: NTL complaint letter

"...seemingly limitless inadequacy" :)

..although do be warned he gets a bit more vocal than that..

So poor old Virgin now have the dubious honour of owning 2 of the best compliant letters ever, and not forgetting our very own Google style complaints about the quality and content of their godawful Living TV Ibiza series too, which this week scraped onto the first page of Google.co.uk for, ...yep you guessed it, "utter shit" :) sometimes you just have to marvel at the accuracy of Google's relevance calculations don't you?