The Ancient Ibicenco Fighting Art of Search Engine Optimisation

Sunday, November 30, 2008

R & R over

So all the talk of retirement for the old blogspot workhorse was maybe a little premature, she probably just needed a bit of a service, which she's had now, and is back ready for the next mission.

The Afgani SERP is now secure once again, and the lads are eagerly awaiting their 70 alloted virgins each from what we hear.

Also this week, one of the SEO Spec Ops Team established his own permanent OP over at Aries SEO and in all probability will likely be a right handful now he's free of what little discipline there is round here.

And whoever painted it pink, haha yes very funny now bloody well sort it out sharpish.

Friday, November 28, 2008

Retiring the Old Battle Horse?

There was once a time, way back in the long, long before, when this blogspot weaponry was more than enough for the spec ops group.

It was never a mighty battle horse but was trusty and reliable steed, and has at times seen great glory, including the "Microsofts free websites" campaign which continues on in greatness, the "Attention America" campaign has also brought much mirth, and grows ever stronger.. click the image, #1 out of 148, 000,000

and she's done great work in the indian invasion serp counter attack, ..but lately something's changed, it seems we can no longer rely on her, and are sadly thinking about putting the old girl out to pasture..

For example, the SEO Afghanistan mission, an easy mission, no opposition whatsoever, one shot, straight in, and that's where we'd expect it to stay.

What we wouldn't expect is for it to just then up and vanish from the already secured position, and off the face of the SERP, whilst still being indexed in a site: search. hmm...

The previous two Ibiza Girls posts, the same.. hmmm...

Whilst the second (Pacha) Ibiza girls image has risen some 12 places and made the bottom of the first page of image search (showing that the old girl still has some punch left in her links) the posts are conspicuously absent from the SERPs.

It's not quite desertion of one's post during wartime but it's not good, so it may be time to just retire the old soldier gracefully.. will let you know.

Justify Full

Friday, November 21, 2008

R & R (Ibiza Girls Image Optimization)

Ok with our crack troops once again showing their one-shot one-kill keyword sniping skills and Afghanistan and the Silliban SERP swiftly dealt with in less than 40 minutes last night it's back to our favourite subject, Ibiza girls

Our previous post refuses to show up in the SERP, despite being indexed, but the link from it has pushed the original hosted pic of the Ibiza Girls on Ibiza Voice from position #9 to #4 or 5.

That's not blatently not good enough, we want that at #1, and to represent us properly :)

So lets try another and see if we can get a fitting one-two going scenario going....

ibiza girls

..................These fine looking Pacha ladies are currently languishing back at an indecent position #11 on the second page, which is clearly unacceptable.

Snipers take aim.....

Thursday, November 20, 2008

SEO Afghanistan & the Taliban

Right listen up.

Word just in from HQ, prepare to mobilise and ship out at 01.00 hours.

They've identified an unsecured comedy niche in the SEO Afghanistan SERPS and spec ops have been ordered to take, secure and hold it, (ready for the lucrative rebuilding contracts that will surely come, one day.. )

We expect heavy resistance from the Suicide Google bombers in particular and and the fearsome new secret weapon identified by the boys over at Strategy Page is of particular concern.

word has it they've recently also developed basic naval capabilities

And with most of our seo recon small business keyword snipers now permanently based at SBS Sniper Headquarters it's going to be a tough one lads.. day or two at the very least

Ok you know the drills, radio silence now until their ladies are all safe and sound.. ;)

Spec Ops out.

Update coming in 01.40 am,
position captured and secured, digging in now...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

MC Harvey New Website Online

mc harveyOk listen up. Here's the new "celeb" site we've been hinting at the last couple of weeks.

Not "officially" released as yet, (due Monday am) so this is a bit of an exclusive, although Google found it somehow already.

From Kdot Urban Music Management the new official MC Harvey website

Harvey's been in the news a bit lately one way and another and what with his Wiki entry and his tabloid coverage, our standard first target of #1 for his own name might take just a little longer than usual :)

Once all his web2.0 literate fans jump get the case and the So.Media Crew start shooting up the place with all that urban linkage it shouldn't take too long.

Ok as you were.

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Ibiza Girls

ibiza girls

Girls in Ibiza - foxy ladies out on the town (pics courtesy of our mates at Ibiza Voice)

Ok so we'll be honest this is a pure experiment in image optimization manipulation and traffic, and what better picture to experiment on, than some Ibiza ladies, who are indeed, some of the fittest in the world

Our pals Voice already rank highly for this phrase with this picture (and if at this point we could just commend Google for this fine choice of rankings) so we're just looking at:
  • how possible / easy it is to pressgang rankings and traffic from the host site (as people have been doing to us lately)
  • improving their rankings by linking at it, - allegedly images can still be google bombed?
  • the picture, for hours and hours.. :)

However, we do also have real work to do today as well, new celeb site coming online very shortly, watch this space, but in the meantime feel free to gaze longingly at the Ibiza Girls..

...God bless them all.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

New Rules of Engagement

Right things have gotten a bit slack round here, even for spec ops troops.

Whilst everybody knows the elite deep cover troops don't have to conform to the usual military nonsense, berets and the like, there's still no excuse for a non-disciplined demeanour and so High Command have been drafting up a new ruleset.

However on seeing the (Metropolitan!!) University of Leeds new etiquette that seems perfectly reasonable so we thought we'd just go with that instead. Highlights as below:

  • Make sure your underwear fits and is unobtrusive
  • Decorum during dinner should be maintained so as not to cause insult to your hostess
  • Refrain from clinking glasses during a toast
  • Consider whether your eyebrows are a distraction to others

We think that should smarten things up considerably around here.

Got it? right, as you were.

Friday, November 7, 2008

SEO India Serp under Siege

Reports are coming in from our front line embedded journalist that the shock troops have struck fiercely deep in SEO Services India territory, and the battle is nearing the final stages..

At Ibiza HQ this evening the deeply handsome General in charge of things said:

"The Indian SEO community were given every chance to comply with the resolution but for reasons best known to themselves decided not to hand over the girl.

Bad decision, now they'll have to suffer the consequences.. Unfortunately these troops were so deep undercover we couldn't have called it off even if we could remember what the secret codes were..

Anyway it won't be long now, #30's is the virtual equivalent of the soldiers kicking your gate in and storming up the garden path.."

The stock markets braced themselves this evening for the shockwaves that will inevitably ripple through the financial markets, and if you are in the SEO Services India area our advice is to stay indoors and hide under your lounge table.

There's a special phone number for concerned friends and relatives to call, we, er just cant remember what it is..

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

SEO Troll

So it took its time but SEO trolling seems to have gone overground. For anyone who doesn't know what an internet troll is:
An "Internet troll" or "Forum Troll" or "Message Board Troll" is a person who posts outrageous message to bait people to answer. Forum Troll delights in sowing discord on the forums.
A troll is someone who inspires flaming rhetoric, someone who is purposely provoking and pulling people into flaming discussion. Flaming discussions usually end with name calling and a flame war.
Well obviously seo trolling is just the next level of things.
"Trolling with ability to place your nonsense high up in Google for terms they see"
We spoke out in defence of our Island against "Original Production's" version of Ibiza for Living TV back in the summer, and will often let rip in the pursuit of humor, but this takes the biscuit even for hardened spec ops troops such as ourselves.

This guy has actually set up a purpose-made blog, specifically to troll local businesses, and totally cringingly, is basically taking out his sour grapes on "proposed to" clients who've knocked him back on quotes!

No really, check... Sh*t - websites - nofollowed because we are laughing at him, not vouching for him, and are certainly not falling for linkbait as bad as this, and the boss nags us for being unprofessional on here.

This man's company is called "Clever Marketing" but we kind of doubt that now, and think he'll have to come up with something a bit better than this to catch us in the seo services Spain searches. Let us know how the "clever Marbella marketing" plan goes eh?

Marbella lol. might as well be San Antonio...

SEO Humor

Ok it's back to analytics for some more amusing longtail hits in the funny things people typed over the last couple of months.

Mostly from here, the spec ops blog, but a couple (with permission) from random client & friends blogs and sites. We've separated them out into SEO humor and non-seo humor as not everybody thinks SEO geekiness is as funny as we do.

So start off with non-seo related humor, and we can see the way you dirty animals are all thinking - we've had to replace letters with * in places as we dont want google thinking we're one of those blogs, but we've hits (some from images too) from:
  • the fittest lady in the world
  • nude female dj
  • site da smokin
  • luxury s*x furniture
  • "wants to go to ibiza badly"
  • bad things that could happen to a tourist in Ibiza
  • may i have your attention please return to Ibiza
  • giving finger
  • sh*t workers Ibiza 2008
  • desperados Ibiza free
  • Ibiza is my spiritual home
  • three in one superior snippers
  • free ibiza uncovered p*
  • ibiza porn government
  • ibiza sh*t party 08
  • inebriated dictionary
  • ibiza beautiful people naked
  • richest person in Ibiza + address
  • post free ads in the london website
  • the finger
And then we have the SEO related hits, most amusing (to SEO's obviously.. )
  • shit seo -
  • fit lady seo
  • dofollow blogs dj equipment comments posting
  • what is seo assistants
  • what is blog integration
  • how to do keyword sniping
  • what is keyword snipper
we are actually number one for Shit SEO after Living TV's Ibiza's googlebashing and don't really want it :) we'll try and help a new site take their rightful place

The "what is" and "how to" queries wouldn't be so funny except you know these are the next people to put SEO websites up and proclaim they are SEOs on DP, usually with some sort of basic level question about "how to" in public on the forum. :)

edit 12-11-08 - today from blog HQ. "how can we made seo expert" :)

and as for mr "dofollow blogs dj equipment posting" ..well you found us, we're dofollow, why didn't you comment? :)

....its a funny old game.

Saturday, November 1, 2008

SEO Humour - Funniest post of the week..

So whilst HQ are breaking the news to the SEO world about the google algo update we're trawling for clues and found this beauty over on Googlegroups of all places.

Hello, can you google people help, my site has been
in top slots at google for a long time but today i just vanish. I
spend fortune each month on buying links in, i have more than 30,000,
i need ranking back as no traffic and i am nearly sold business.

And before you all start saying paid links bad that not true, my slots
have been stolen by man who buying more then even me see

Can you solve problem immeadiatly or i must take legal action!

we kid you not.. :)

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