The Ancient Ibicenco Fighting Art of Search Engine Optimisation

Friday, June 26, 2009

Superior SEO .. the game is on..

Ok so apparently seo comedian from the previous post is now to be taken at least semi- seriously as he is now up to #2 for Superior SEO using what some might label not so superior seo web design techniques.

Having backed off from a serious discussion about Superior SEO web design here promising to calm down, we have it on good authority he's quitely gone off "to prove that lot wrong, my way is the best way 10k words in a scrollbar rules!! .." etc. :)

However due to Google still being eminently spammable, its working for the moment anyway.

HQ have already called in the airstrikes but Google is being slow in caching so we're on the case as well now. This might well end up a bit like bullying the retarded kid in the playground by the time it's finished, but well hey, this is serious SEO ethics business,
because
you rank for a phrase, does not mean you are that phrase.. ..that would be like ranking for "genius amazing brain surgeon"
.. get lost with your scalpel nutter!
Of course this applies to us too, but we are not spamming Twitter, Propellor article - marketing for links all aimed at these silly phrases and generally telling everyone else we can find who will listen, how great we are because we rank for a silly phrase.

Superior SEO Design our collective arses, the game is now on.

edit 07-07-09 click -->>link<<-- ..to see why HQ really aren't bothered by anything except the misappropriation of the word "superior" here.
..all those superior seo #1's - traffic value? nil.
edit 09-07-09 .. dear oh dear.



Nobody hates you, mirth is a very different thing to hate, "Power Twit" is about right though.. ;)

edit 19-08-09 TN insists on various funny spamblogs he runs that he isnt spamming.

check .. http://superiorseowebdesign.wordpress.com :)

hmm.. looks like Wordpress themselves might just disagree ?



Sunday, June 21, 2009

D1G1TAL Numpty update

Ok listen up.

D1g1tal numpty has now been handed over to us.

As he clearly now thinks he's home free he is cracking on with his numpty-world domination plan involving "pooling together no-brainers" and getting the shareholders to moonlight as software testers from what we could gather.

Well that's all well and good but recce team think it's just a little bit cheeky, plus a bit retarded, to be putting "SEO" in his meta kw tags :) ..what a numpty.

he's also committed SEO Hall of Cardinal Shame Offence #7
<meta name="robots" content="index, follow">
..what a numpty.

It might be a laugh to now canvass all his latest brand new site'owners explaining the inherent technology and search engine visability challenges they face from their hi-tech, expensive, flash SEO-useless sites. :)


Saturday, June 13, 2009

SEO Clowns & Comedians

"Come in Hooston, we have a problem.."

So HQ's "Guaranteed Houston SEO spammer" or "Cease & Desist"Clown as he's affectionately known as here seemingly took the best advice offered to him, and promptly deleted his offending website rather than engage with us (..we get that a lot, in case you're wondering ;)

It's a shame really because covert ops dug up some wonderful background articles, on amongst other stuff the power of blog comment spamming (& if only he'd done it himself instead of outsourcing we'd probably have never have fallen out) and one beauty in particular from one of his two other newer and less silly sites, we'll quote a little now with name removed.. [us in red]



..Yes look sunshine, not sure how to break this to you, "hanging with your homies" eating pizza and playing playstation doesn't make you an SEO. ..Anyway, he's been downgraded to "no discernable threat of any sort" now so we have to leave him alone.

And June's SEO Comedy Award goes to superior seo spam man after a stunning display of...
" look-at-me-I-rank-for-a-ridiculous-term-I-can-do-the-same-for-you.."
and this has to be the funniest Twitter marketing campaign ever

<> Edited by High Command

this guy turned out to be OK via email comms if a bit new to the game. He's just making as much noise as possible with his new company, sensitive info removed.. As you were...
< /s n i p >


BWAHAHahahahahahahahahahaha.. ...seo comedy genius in the making :)

spec ops out.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Ibiza Health Alert?

Google Alerts for Ibiza does spam us with all kinds of nonsense over the summer season but just occasionally a funny one makes it all worthwhile..

Here is one such joke post that cracked a few smiles this morning, courtesy of thedailymash.co.uk

MEGA-CLAP TERRORISES IBIZA Print Email this story

A MUTANT strain of gonorrhoea has laid waste to large sections of Ibiza and is threatening to invade the UK this summer, experts have warned.

Image
Dancing in their own filth
The new breed of clap, which has proven resistant to conventional antibiotics, has already razed several nightclubs to the ground and is currently encamped in San Antonio.

The giant gonorrhoea, named 'Crotchzilla' by locals, first appeared after strange glowing lights were seen in the sky over Ibiza Town last month.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Radioactive germs must have attached themselves to the gen1tals of a local lothario, or skank.

"It will then have mutated to monstrous proportions in the dank, soggy heat of an Ibiza foam party."

Amateur footage, filmed by a local bar owner, shows Crotchzilla swatting police helicopters out of the sky and crushing British-themed bars underfoot.

One eye-witness said: "It was a bit like Cloverfield but with more suppurating gen*tal sores."

The Foreign Office said it was now inevitable the monster would reach the UK hidden inside a set of holidaymaker's ar$etraps.

A spokesman said: "We are at the mercy of Crotchzilla. All it will take is the combination of a warm, humid summer and our in-built need to f**k anything that moves after two bottles of pear cider."

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Texas SEO Rednecks

Ok stand to.

SEO Spec Ops are @ Bikini Amber as of 09.00 hours this morning after some "Hooston SEO" type clown opened comms with HQ today with an emailed "Cease & Desist", after initially spamming their blog, then not liking the comment replies.. ?? !! :)

Bwahahahahahahahaha!!

..Said clown was duly given his marching orders in blunt language by return, and we've had the situation under surveillance ever since.

It would appear at this point that the Texan SEO rednecks have tonight deleted their site, and are retreating (run away, run away! :) unless it's just a server error or something.

It was a pretty naff site anyway, giving "SEO Guarantees" and the individual in question does have two more slightly better looking ones to play with, so it's no great loss to the internet.

We've been digging deep and are kinda hoping he tries further intimidation tactics because this redneck SEO is going to have an awfully red neck (and face) by the time he's finished trying to dig himself out of this hole.. :)

watch this space..


 

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