2012 Ops

Right listen up.

yes, it has been a long time, and yes I know most of you are chilling in Morocco for the winter, but no that doesn't mean you'll be continuing your gambling, surfing and bloody yoga holidays indefinitely.

Comms from HQ that we're to stand by for yet another potential No BS SEO op..

Amusingly word on the street is, this link (above here) or any links at all in fact, will make no difference to their recipient/s whatsoever.. Now yes everybody knows the nature of what makes a good link has changed and evolved, but "links don't help rankings" might be taking it a bit far.

We shall see..

Spec Ops 2011

Ok lads, R & R is over, back at it.

First up, back in blighty, we have HQ's Web Mania "project", which although gathering pace..


... is yet to make page 1 for their name, so let's get that sorted ASAP.

Secondly, back on the home front, HQ are ramping up the serp defence ops on "SEO Services Ibiza" against Braveheart and fortifying the main brand with a scrolling real-time box:


... and a new universal search (video) presence



See also : SEO services Ibiza and the SEO Ibiza Youtube channel

These new outposts are to be positioned either directly above or immediately below the real-time pop-out forthwith.

However before you some of you go getting too excited about those Scottish lassies, you should bear in mind that the entire SEO Scotland counter-attack is looking very likely to be canceled due to a distinct lack of long-range recce volunteers or interest.

Ok, as you were, Ibiza out.

Sitrep 26-01-2011 UK Perimeter secured, coming on nicely lads..

Winter Ops Schedule

Ok lads listen up.

Summer break's over now, things are hotting up in several arenas currently, firstly it looks like we made the right choice staying out of SEO Iran as it looks like they won't be going down without a fight. - You must have heard the news about **someone** cough, cough launching a missile 35 miles from the US coast by now?

Well we've had technical do some image enhancements and spotted something we don't think they're going to like when they finally work it out, so we'll be keeping this one to ourselves for the moment, but just be aware.

Closer to home however the observant may have noticed another comedy "SEO Ibiza" assault by none other than summer's SEO Scotland suspect. Once again he seeks to employ the power of Hubs and syndicated blog posts to attempt to snipe leads from HQ's brand search.

This cheekiness cannot go without appropriate response but HQ said to stand down because maybe he might get rid of one or two of those irritating Chinese scrapers down there anyway. Amusingly Intel reports that he is as yet unaware of his soon-to-be #1 ranking over on Google images :)



Nor any of his more memorable tributes :)



However, all amusement aside, under duress HQ finally agreed to a little "expert SEO" counter-attack, volunteers stay behind afterwards please, the rest of you, as you were.

Funny Business SEO & Scotland ?

Ok lads listen up.

We knew it was going to happen at some point, that we might be asked to turn the firepower inwards on our own people, and well it's not quite our own but Scotland, they do at least they speak something similar to English so it might be a little uncomfortable for some of you, but you know what you have to do.

Apparently someone, lets call him "SEO Scotland" has been a bit lippy to HQ on some forum at the weekend because they had their boots in his cornflakes again (note to selves - work on social skills more) and he has decided he's going to come and outrank them for "Business SEO" using his HubPower and copywriting skills alone :)

Yes yes, come on it's not that funny..

Have you quite finished? Ok so it's vaguely possible he might be seen bumping around briefly on page 2 or 3 in a few weeks, orders are to terminate on sight.

Recon (allintitle:) shows that he did manage a #2 for a 5k allintitle kw..

Lads! Will you stop laughing this is serious!! :) ..ok, look I know, I know, but lets get the briefing done and we can get back to real work ok?

"Business SEO" is about 86k allintitle: so we think that clearly chappie is going to have to up his copywriting rate, but he seems serious and so must be dealt with as a threat accordingly.

This is the best picture we have of him but obviously his appearance may have changed since then. There are rumours of him wearing those big fluffy pikey jumpers they have up there, and obviously he'll probably have beer stains on it when you see him.

Ok you know the score, get on the case.

Wait up lads! - before you go news just coming in, recce team got it wrong you slackers, the original target was a decoy, repeat decoy.

This guy was smart enough to trick you lot and so has likely has SEO WMDs and so must be dealt with accordingly.

Ok get to it, over and out.

edit, since this post has been getting Scottish traffic if you're looking for a proper SEO in Scotland <<--follow this link

Dodgy Rankings Companies

Right listen up. ..What is it with "SEO companies" with "Rankings" in their names?

Obviously we use both SEO and "company" in the loosest possible sense of the words..

2009 was the year of TN's "Funny Page Rankings" who has still got another company's name plastered all over the front page of business site ..seriously.. :)

..and now this year HQ have taken offense at ABC Rankings stealing content from the main site with scrapers, spinning it, and building .info spam networks with our name plastered all over them too.

So Spec Ops first job as privateers looks like we're off to Thailand..

watch this space...

Spec Ops Blog :)

Well it's only to be expected really, isn't it?



ok as you were..

.

Superior SEO nonsense

Right listen up, ok this whole superior nonsense is all getting a bit surreal.

If there were a competition as to who could say the same few simple seo sentences, the most times, in the most (only very slightly) different ways, it would definitely be tied at the top between these two superior pretenders.

Recce team are tonight reporting that superior seo design is looking like being once again back under Ibicenco control as the SEO Ibiza superior seo system winds up to full power.

We would expect it to yo-yo for a while before settling permanently.

What's funny is that HQ really couldn't care less, but had they been bragging to all and sundry about it on twitter for weeks.. ..well one would think the shame would be pretty bad to lose it again, for any length of time, wouldn't it..? :)

In the meantime the traffic-less trophy term "superior seo" search now looks like a newbie SEO v1.0 technique practice ground, with more superior seo spam splatting into Google's index daily..

Butch isnt out of the (2nd place and below ;) ) running yet, which is hardly surprising as he is the SEO Master, the true "5E0 Ma5t4" (and can do for you what no-one else can) and has prepared a high quality superior seo blogspot post to show us this again very recently..

"Search Engine m'Optimizashun (or SEO to us masters) is the Art and Science of getting your website to rank, m'kay?"

And superior seo web design comedian is on a stupendous article & press release binge of truly gargantuan proportions, daily his nonsense appears in the SERP sometimes hourly, and the cheeky monkey is only now quoting a line from our site in this nonsense and then adding his own totally wrong spin to the end of our sentence.. .. and without link attribution too, tut tut..

The latest masterpiece from the superior seo web design spam team has the paragraph quoted below and dissected at length by us..

...Now there are a lot of SEO experts out there who will insist that they know what they’re doing. That they have Google’s “number” and can put you at the top of the search engines.

Lol, boy oh boy there certainly are.

...There’s a couple of things you might want to check though before putting your hard earned money down though. Have them give you a couple of references, folks that they’ve worked with.

Hahaha yes, this search is an awesome display of obtaining a client #1 ranking OUT OF 1 PAGE in Google :)

...As a very trusted source in the SEO world puts it:

Lol, thats us, we are definitely a trusted source, oh yes.. ;)

Superior SEO in the world of web2.0+ is a vision of a world with links by users, for users, that users may actually click

Ok SEO Ibiza copyright stops there. this next line is all clown.

Ensuring that your site has the most it possibly can is the way for your site to be seen appropriately by the search engines.

WTF??!!! No it f***king isnt, we never said that, can't you read? Look again, at the bold bit, and tell us where we said "get the most we possibly can" ??

Tell us where it says spam the f**k out of articles rehashing the same nonsense over and over and over ad infinitum, put out press releases, get your nonsense into the news, embarrass yourself, whilst MIS quoting us?

Superior SEO is about content you muppets, and content is not just the same thing repeated over and over and over again, either onpage, or in oldstyle Google index spamming of press releases and articles NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO READ (well seriously, anyway)

So, SpamPageRankings, when you read this, you should really have a look through the SEO Master's collection of Superior SEO spam, it's far more extensive than yours, (so far, granted at this rate you'll catch him quickly) and see how far articles and press releases got him in this comedy SERP.

Final note, our spec ops superior seo design project is coming along nicely, see screenshot below, we still have to just swap just a couple of the positions around, but it's coming, oh, it's coming.. ;)

Maltese Web Design Numpty Revisited

Right listen up, remember "Numpty of the Year 2007" ?

No, no, not "Dick - D1g1tal numpty" this was the Maltese web design Lemon remember?

He was never officially titled Numpty 2007, but that's all about to change - it's this twat, the Maltese Web Gimp "who doesn't believe in SEO" ?

Intel shows that he is up to his old tricks again, deleting and changing sites he has had strict instructions from the owners to leave alone for more than a year now.

If this was in the interests of the owner, this would be one thing, however it is not, it is being done specifically to bait HQ, who you can be assured are now well and truly baited and were sounding a bit like a bad Tourettes attack on the radio this morning.. :)

So we have orders to let the target have a full volley of the spec ops treatment, and this time we're going to out him by name and put his trophy post right underneath his company name in the charts, and we are going to explain in full, why companies who are interested in their website doing any business on their behalf, should avoid gimp web design at all costs.

There's a command briefing this afternoon to decide appropriate action (and phrases) we are pushing for either "Maltese Numpty" or "Maltese Web Gimp" so expect to be mobilizing and moving out this evening, Gimp himself will be very embarrassed upon Googling his company name from tomorrow onwards.

watch this space

edit 10-07-09. it would appear that Intel was partial and incomplete in this case and that for reasons of diplomatic nature this Op is suspended until further notice..

So stand down, get back to your ladies.

D1G1TAL Numpty update

Ok listen up.

D1g1tal numpty has now been handed over to us.

As he clearly now thinks he's home free he is cracking on with his numpty-world domination plan involving "pooling together no-brainers" and getting the shareholders to moonlight as software testers from what we could gather.

Well that's all well and good but recce team think it's just a little bit cheeky, plus a bit retarded, to be putting "SEO" in his meta kw tags :) ..what a numpty.

he's also committed SEO Hall of Cardinal Shame Offence #7

<meta name="robots" content="index, follow">

..what a numpty.

It might be a laugh to now canvass all his latest brand new site'owners explaining the inherent technology and search engine visability challenges they face from their hi-tech, expensive, flash SEO-useless sites. :)

SEO Mastery & the Funniest Nav Link Titles Ever..

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Ibiza Living TV update

Right this has been a spec ops project since last summer, so its time for an update.

Many (maybe 3 or 4) of you might remember we declared Googlewar on Living TV 's Ibiza (and hence Virgin) over the pile of sh*te they tried to pass off as the real ibiza last summer.

Well when spec ops get dug into something there's no letting it lie, and as Branson has not yet apologised in person the Google harassment continues. We've linked it into the Ibiza uncovered searches so anyone looking for that gets to see it, and now we've also linked it in with Virgin cable complaints in general (because, in a way, it is, isnt it?) and are starting to see traffic from that.

There is no getting away from it, we are going to make sure anyone with any interest in Ibiza TV or Living TV Ibiza, or Virgin complaints in general, gets the opportunity to read our diatribe.

"They smile in your face, all the time they wanna slate your place the back stabbers, back stabbers, they smile in your face, all the time they wanna slate your place the back stabbers, back stabbers..."

..and don't come back until you're sorry.

Oh, and Google if you wouldn't mind awfully, can you get on and cache this >>SEO India<< please? were waiting on it.

Ok, so anyone wanting to know what actually living in Ibiza would be like follow the link, otherwise, ..as you were.

Maltese Girls need Optimizing?

Right after our easy success with shuffling the Ibiza girls image searches around to be a bit more to our liking we're thinking we should probably do this for our neighbouring islands too?

Mallorca's isn't too bad, but Malta could do with some attention, between the pop stars and the Maltese Terrier dogs, its looking a bit limited..

As we now have a permanent outpost garrison stationed over here we ought to help sort it out a bit for them really, especially being as the local indigenous SEO crew don't seem to care at all, or haven't gotten round to it yet anyways...

They're probably far too busy worrying about "rankings and traffic" to get on with any of the really important SEO duties.. (And then they wonder why their ladies leave them so easily once conquered.. :)

So we dug back a bit and way back on page 3 at a lowly position #45 we found this young lady..



As it says in the caption (Click her to go there) no, Maltese Girls are not bad at all :)

..We knew that anyway, its just your image search results letting you down. ...give it a couple of weeks, Ibiza will sort it out for you ;)

Over and out.

Google's Silly PR Games

So you cant fail to have noticed Google updated their toolbar PR again over the weekend, much to the dismay or glee of the majority of SEO civilians on DP and other forums who've been either crying like little lassies about meaningless demotions or gloating as though the propaganda they've been fed means anything at all on the battlefield.

HQ did ok if you believe the hype, up from domain 4 to 5, as did we, up from 3 to 4.

...However we just want to point out exactly why this is relatively meaningless to anyone but SEO Civvies. The 3 experimental pages on our main site, were named and titled as the target experimental search terms, that we have been testing since inception, ie..

SEO Power, - SEO Engine Room, & SEO Experiments & Theories. (links to pages)

As our site is now a mighty SEO war machine, as you would expect, all three of these phrases on Google.com show our relevant page in easy top 5 positions,

The phrase SEO Engine Room currently has our page in the #1 position above a domain and site actually called that.

The phrase SEO Power also has the page alternating between #2 and #3, again nudged right up underneath a domain of the same name. These pages were awarded a toolbar of PR4.

The final page however, SEO Experiments & Theories performs every bit as well as it's counterparts in two different searches, SEO Experiments & SEO Theories and is actually in more distinguished company, up there with the very serious Mr Martinez, and others who likely take their SEO experiments far more seriously than us..

and yet what did the Google toolbar Pagerank propaganda machine see fit to award the experiments page in the last skirmish?

...Yep, it's greyed out, which if you believe the thronging civvy hordes means it's supplemental, useless etc.. . Useless our SEO Warriors arses!! Try the searches for yourselves..

Google search SEO Engine Room & Google search SEO Engine

Google search SEO Power & Google search Power SEO (24 million pages)

Google search SEO Experiments & Google search SEO Theories

If you've assembled your Google SERP weaponry correctly "T3h Real Pagerank" is surging through your sites, whether you can see it or not. It's there, whatever misinformation or propaganda you're fed via the Toolbar, so just forget about it, and crack on, or the spoils of SERP war will be coming home with us tonight ;)

Over and out.

Indian SERP Invasion Underway

Reports are coming in this morning of final warnings being given of the imminent arrival of the Ibicenco SEO Warriors in the very heart of the Indian SERPs..

This is your last chance to surrender and hand over the lady, shown in the page here SEO India before a tiny island in the Mediterrean publicly embarrasses the entire Indian nations SEO firms by launching straight into the top of your charts in a matter of weeks.. :)

..Dont say we didnt warn you, and we would advise locking up your daughters. especially the pretty ones who will all want to return to Ibiza with us, we promise you.. ;)

This is not a drill, there will be no further warnings.