New Office

So we've had a few questions lately regarding the new HQ & Spec ops forward base, so thought we'd share.



As you can see we have more than enough SEO firepower for our tiny island and so will not be taking any lip from Extranjeros, and especially ones with funny accents.

Sleazy-Jet Chav Mafia be advised.

and as usual Telefonica's internet capabilities are somewhat sub-optimal, if we have any networking specialists or CCIE s to hand, stay behind.

The rest of you, as you were...

JP Morgan called...

..Looking for some "Reputation Management" on this Max Kaiser guy who started this whole "Crash JP Morgan Buy Silver" thing by ranking him #1 for "Financial Terrorism"

..and they also wanted to know if we could arrange it so that when people typed in "Crash JP Morgan Buy Silver" it would bring up a whole SERP of their own articles (cunningly rewritten) thus:

"Buy JP Morgan - Crash Silver" instead ?

- Obviously they weren't aware we already had operatives in the area so we told them we'd

"see what we can do" :)

Secondly we had a coded message in from Morpheus saying he's run out of red pills again and he's absolutely mobbed with people needing to take them over there so if someone could sort that out ASAP.

Winter Ops Schedule

Ok lads listen up.

Summer break's over now, things are hotting up in several arenas currently, firstly it looks like we made the right choice staying out of SEO Iran as it looks like they won't be going down without a fight. - You must have heard the news about **someone** cough, cough launching a missile 35 miles from the US coast by now?

Well we've had technical do some image enhancements and spotted something we don't think they're going to like when they finally work it out, so we'll be keeping this one to ourselves for the moment, but just be aware.

Closer to home however the observant may have noticed another comedy "SEO Ibiza" assault by none other than summer's SEO Scotland suspect. Once again he seeks to employ the power of Hubs and syndicated blog posts to attempt to snipe leads from HQ's brand search.

This cheekiness cannot go without appropriate response but HQ said to stand down because maybe he might get rid of one or two of those irritating Chinese scrapers down there anyway. Amusingly Intel reports that he is as yet unaware of his soon-to-be #1 ranking over on Google images :)



Nor any of his more memorable tributes :)



However, all amusement aside, under duress HQ finally agreed to a little "expert SEO" counter-attack, volunteers stay behind afterwards please, the rest of you, as you were.

Ibiza SEO Sitrep

Ok lads quick update on the Ibiza SEO mission.

Those of you who were awake at the last briefing will remember that the only person who's ever come to the site using the words that way round was our "Ibiza SEO wannabe? (see post below if you're worried about booby-trapped links)

Well oddly enough :) the very next day after we pointed this out *someone else* hit the site "from the UK" using that very term.. just how unlikely is that, 3 years nothing, then 2 in 2 days? ..someone else using IE8 at 1920 x 1200 resolution? :)



Er.. yea, alright Numpty, because no-one knows what a VPN is round here do they? - or even which one you're using (Hidemyass? :) Whilst nosing around Spec Ops he noticed the satellite imagery of his previous surveillance (2mins 2 secs here below)



He even had a read of "The Art of SERP War" while he was there, but he obviously didn't learn much, or understand that it's not just an IP address that can gives your footprint away, because a quick switch to Amsterdam on the VPN..



and continued nosing around blissfully unaware he'd been pinged and was being observed through the cross-hairs the whole way..



Now any proper SEO troops know it's better to have your opposition underestimate you than the other way around, if only to see the looks on their faces when you boot their kitchen doors in and escort their ladies off for "de-briefing" (SEO Services Ibiza -if you get my drift ;)

However in this instance this operative is showing such low levels of awareness there is a strong possibility any actual SERP contact is likely to resemble 42 Commando RM vs Argie Conscripts 1982..

The combination of superior seo training, extensive serp combat experience, advanced weaponry (including surveillance equipment) is likely to make victory quickly decisive.

It's not bragging, but it's just not reasonable to expect a "bedroom seo" who by one means or another "inherited" control of a site that wasnt built by and didn't belong to him, and has never strayed out of the safety of little "Ibiza" searches, to have any hope against hardened shock troops with global combat experience in some of the toughest SERPs on earth.

However Lads, the Rules of Engagement are to be strictly followed, business is business and we must act in accordance of the rules, however if he makes it personal.. :)



Well thats a whole other can of worms isn't it? :)

SEO Ibiza - as you were..

Superior SEO - 2010

Right listen up.

While we've been away conquering foreign SERPs, as usual in such circumstances, whilst the Troops have been away risking their Google profiles for your safety, the "non-combatants" who've stayed (at home) have gotten brave enough to have been out "peace protesting" = attempting to crack onto our ladies, and organizing themselves into pockets of "resistance"

This is to be quelled ASAP, we now have orders to put down any / all homeland dissent with authorization to use as much SEO Power as required, up to and including lethal force i.e. tactical linkpower strikes & CQSEO SERP War Tactics as required.

Obviously being Spec Ops (SEO Recon) we've been scoping out the "uprisings" and while they are weak, sporadic and scattered, still, total SEO superiority must be re-imposed forthwith.

The attached briefing shows that although the enemy is completely clueless, regarding their actual penetration, moral seems to high for some reason, maybe due to some vague probing of defenses and moderate success on one flank (3 phrases if searches are conducted from the US - needs a gl=us in the SERP string) - Globally however, ie Google.com searched from anywhere else but the US, - ie UK, Europe, Canada, Australia, South America, etc HQ's Superior SEO empire is still strong.

Apart from the Clown prince however there are also multiple other targets seemingly planning insurgency and attacks, notably these individuals.

www.superior-seo-services.com - (butch returns) website here

"Jake" - unknown status, although known to us (ex operative) suspect double agent, openly linking to one of our positions but simultaneously building & acquiring sniper technology on hosted subdomains - watch closely.

• superior seo pretender 1
• superior seo pretender 2

NOTE: individuals on this list get one warning (link) each, this is your first and final warning, after this anyone still in the SERP after 15.00 hours today is responsible for their own fates, you have been warned.

Update 07-April 2010

Lol, that didn't take long, and considering the link strikes that have been called in (and yet to arrive) are the rough equivalent of Gandalph & crew riding in from the East at Dawn, it's highly doubtful ass clown will ever see his beloved "Trophy terms" at #1 again..



Website rewrite required numpty, and while you're at it, take any mention of our company off your lame-ass site, or we really will drop any semblance of civility and embarrass you beyond your wildest dreams on the world SEO stage, for you truly are SEOBullshit at it's finest, and if anybody deserves a write up on there you do.

CONSIDER THIS YOUR FINAL WARNING

Spec Ops out

Dodgy Rankings Companies

Right listen up. ..What is it with "SEO companies" with "Rankings" in their names?

Obviously we use both SEO and "company" in the loosest possible sense of the words..

2009 was the year of TN's "Funny Page Rankings" who has still got another company's name plastered all over the front page of business site ..seriously.. :)

..and now this year HQ have taken offense at ABC Rankings stealing content from the main site with scrapers, spinning it, and building .info spam networks with our name plastered all over them too.

So Spec Ops first job as privateers looks like we're off to Thailand..

watch this space...

Spec Ops Blog :)

Well it's only to be expected really, isn't it?



ok as you were..

.

Spec Ops 2010 - SEO Yemen & beyond..

Ok listen up.

Holiday's over, time to focus on 2010's spec ops, and there's plenty going on..

First up some clown apparently flew into Detroit hoping to explode his pants, (and the plane he was in) having been supposedly been trained by the criminal masterminds who currently have 100,000 US troops tied up in an un-winnable fight that will ultimately bankrupt the entire US State..

Hmm, exploding pants.. ..sounds more like the work of the CIA to us to be honest..

You have to give it to this lot, they are doing a supreme job of trolling the US into what will go down in the annals of history, as the biggest ($3 trillion) over-reaction of all-time, to anything, like ever..



...If Bin laden wanted a reaction and to just waste the US' time and divert their attention while their whole world comes crashing down around them, then he's done a superb job of it.

...still, orders are orders and we have been assigned to secure the SEO Yemen SERP as usual, and wait for America's next "War against 100 people in the desert" to begin..


The local Yemeni SEO troops look the usual rag-tag lot, and will need our ongoing support and training as usual.

At least the Yemini insurgents are still very much in the basic "blowing up their own pants" stage and haven't as yet graduated to the highly sophisticated animal weaponry we've seen employed in the Baghdad & SEO Afghanistan campaigns..

Otherwise, any volunteers for Troll-rat duty report to me at the end, the rest of you go do your stuff..

Code Red (Nose)

Right stop what you're doing and listen up.

I know you've been having lots of fun toying with various harmless clowns but summer's over now, it's time to get back to our real jobs again.

1. Derek Powazek - orders are to engage and image troll this know-nothing arrogant tool until he's crying into his nancy-boy latte. I know you're going to enjoy this one, rarely does someone need such an SEO slapping as this utter cock.

2. It's time to engage the local "creative marketing" "company" who are building hugely expensive sites for prestige clients, and then hiding links in the clients HTML pages back to their own Directory site to make it rank at the expense of the clients rankings..

The cheek of this is just astounding, they are:-

a) taking huge amounts of money to build a Flash front-end (yawn)

b) taking even more money to build an HTML site behind it for rankings purposes

c) then linking invisibly from the clients pages to their OWN site to rank that instead

d) then trying to charge the clients for an entry in their own (now top 5 ranking) directory ad pages

They are risking their new client being banned from Google (hidden links) so they can rank their own site and sell advertising there too!!

Talk about have your cake and eat it, "creative internet marketing" indeed!

(if you click the link above you'd probably be able to work out who this is.. ;)

What's interesting about the pairing of these two Spec Ops projects is that the second company (person) seems to be exactly the sort of thing Powazek is talking about, but it's not the work of an "SEO" it's the work of "Web Designers" attempting to do SEO.

This is obviously the general "understanding" of SEO by the average web designer. Dont get us wrong, there are a (very) few rare exceptions to this, but in general, and definitely in Ibiza..

So get your shit together live-o, first squad of Google image snipers to deploy at 18.00 hours.

Spec ops out.

Surreal SEO Combat - Part II

Hahaha ok listen up.

It was obviously too good to be true that the Clown Prince of SEO would actually drop it and stop his nonsense, well he hasn't, he's been re-designing his site to "attack" again.

And there we were, almost resigned to having to remove all mentions of him and find more clowns to play with. We are (ever-so-slightly) encouraged to see that he has been listening and has now at least added some extra pages and terms to his Surrealest of web designs that may actually attract potential customers at some point..

But he has then devoted a whole page of his "business website" to this fantasy "battle" he thinks is constantly going on (which is still actually only Google flux wrt to the main SEO Ibiza site)

Since his last lambasting in the previous surreal seo web design post and the subsequent deletion of silly page, he has now reinstated most of his nonsense again, and is still trying to pretend he doesn't care about these silly terms and is "too busy with big marketing clients" to be bothered with the nonsense he started.

And currently about 95% of the world will see his site at 3rd & 4th anyway when he thinks he's first, even in the US at the moment where Ibiza are at their weakest since geo-targeting the UK in late 2008.



HQ already had one potential client of his contact them a while ago, having found them by trying his silly "marketing" superior seo design search nonsense, and you would think that at some point, he might work out that advertising a far superior seo company other than your own, all over your business website, is not so sharp.

Especially so when you're trying to do it with phrases that given Google's very nature you can never be sure what the client will actually see.

# Credibility Rule One

- keep silly personal stuff off your main business website ;)

Anyway, credibility wont now be an issue because he has his own radio show, super-stardom now beckons.. Enjoy ;) .....

Spec Ops in Afganistan

Ok listen up.

Spec ops have been a bit quiet on the sitreps lately, lots going on, but little we can talk about, such is the path we tread. However, due to the nature of work we do, we can't help but make noticeable Google-waves occasionally.. :)



So HQ have ordered that we ramp up the workload and (at least pretend that we are going to) keep you all (slightly) better informed of goings on.

First up, the Great Satan himself has been spotted cohorting with the enemy, and donning the local garb (rags on head) to avoid detection.

This is actually rather good news because it means he can now be summarily shot on sight, rather than having to go after him for war (and peace) crimes against his own people (never mind the rest of the world)

- you'll all be pleased to know he's top priority, so there's an extra can of tennants for whoever bags him.

Any volunteers to stick a suicide Google bomb up his kaftan if we haven't nailed his sorry ass in a few days, stay behind afterwards please and we'll strap you up.

Secondly, C Company have got to stop joyriding through the Yank bases in the stolen Hummer.

Yes yes, I know it's funny the yanks can't even catch them now they painted it orange, but we're on the same side, and openly trolling our allies just isnt on.

Plus they have now stopped answering the radio completely apart from the odd "YeeeHahh!!" and we're even hearing rumours that they've been doing donuts in the Air Force base's McDonalds car park, it's got to stop, funny or not.

Next as you may be aware the local forces are making great strides in training and equipment and we are confident they'll soon be able to defend their own SERPs from the Talispam once again, but until then we have a job to do, so stop your nonsense and get back to your positions forthwith.

Finally as you may or may not be aware the sniper team have been in action demonstrating their usual superior seo firepower once more with overnight #1 strikes on Yahoo..






















.
..Google is also under heavy siege and will be giving up the top 5 booty within the month.

Just be thankful these boys are firing away from you again now, do not let them at the rum before a mission again and it will hopefully stay that way.

Over and out.

Forest Fire Santa Eulalia

Operatives are reporting in this afternoon on another Ibiza spec ops team in action, the Bombers (or Fire brigade, always thought "bombers" was a funny name for the firemen) against a possible forest fire, or at least a large fire requiring multiple helicopter water drops.

Sirens have been wailing for a while now and several light aircraft have been deployed and circling Santa Eulalia, Ibiza as we speak, see location on map below


View Larger Map

Several helicopters are in action currently and one was observed dropping it's load of water on a hill just to the North of Santa Eularia moments ago and photographed moments afterwards (below)

click image for full size picture, showing helicopter (red) and smoke rising from the ridge (white)



We wish the lads the best of luck.