Spec Ops 2011

Ok lads, R & R is over, back at it.

First up, back in blighty, we have HQ's Web Mania "project", which although gathering pace..


... is yet to make page 1 for their name, so let's get that sorted ASAP.

Secondly, back on the home front, HQ are ramping up the serp defence ops on "SEO Services Ibiza" against Braveheart and fortifying the main brand with a scrolling real-time box:


... and a new universal search (video) presence



See also : SEO services Ibiza and the SEO Ibiza Youtube channel

These new outposts are to be positioned either directly above or immediately below the real-time pop-out forthwith.

However before you some of you go getting too excited about those Scottish lassies, you should bear in mind that the entire SEO Scotland counter-attack is looking very likely to be canceled due to a distinct lack of long-range recce volunteers or interest.

Ok, as you were, Ibiza out.

Sitrep 26-01-2011 UK Perimeter secured, coming on nicely lads..

SEO Services Ibiza

Ok listen up

Operatives should note we have orders effective immediately to bump the search

"SEO Services Ibiza" thus:

A new forward base has also been established here: SEO Ibiza and may be used for expert SEO incursions at will. ..Those of you engaged in the JP Morgan op can leave that for the moment, apparently this takes priority "as a matter of principle, we're not having any cheek from those sweaties" ..even though HQ only recently noticed we've been stamping all over their SERPs for a little while now.



Still, if we make an exception for this one, they'll all be trying to move here and that is totally unacceptable.

Update 23-Nov 2010: perimeter position secured, digging in now.

SEO services Ibiza out.

Internet Marketing Pirates Ibiza

Haha right listen up.

Ok never mind your good old fashioned Somalian Pirates (inset and well worth a look close up - photoshop genius at large :)

A new breed of Piracy just been internationally recognised and outed on the well-known anti-internet Piracy Organisation: .. Twitter

And these particular internet pirates were caught just blatently nicking someone else's design for their new flagship "Creative Internet Design" site, packed the hilt with nothing but design portfolio examples.. ..hmm.. :)

The Twitter trail of piracy is screen-shotted below

Captain Whiteheart & the "technical wizards & creative geniuses" have been doing this kind of thing at least since the beginning of 2008 when they also "borrowed some inspiration" from another site, only they "borrowed" so much they accidentally left the links to the original site in place :) (about 2/3 of the way down the page...)

"They went as far as actually cutting and pasting our code whole, and just swapping our pagelinks for theirs (as demonstrated by their forgetting to remove one of our links and linking back to us by mistake.."

Clearly this is not a very intelligent adversary :)

And this is the same "company" who are also risking one of their client's expensive new sites being banned from Google by hiding links to their own advertising site on it. (second half of previous post - code red nose)

This piracy alert will stay up until these and all other unethical techniques and hidden links are removed from all client sites.

SEO Spec Ops Ethics (Anti Piracy) Department out.

Forest Fire Santa Eulalia

Operatives are reporting in this afternoon on another Ibiza spec ops team in action, the Bombers (or Fire brigade, always thought "bombers" was a funny name for the firemen) against a possible forest fire, or at least a large fire requiring multiple helicopter water drops.

Sirens have been wailing for a while now and several light aircraft have been deployed and circling Santa Eulalia, Ibiza as we speak, see location on map below


View Larger Map

Several helicopters are in action currently and one was observed dropping it's load of water on a hill just to the North of Santa Eularia moments ago and photographed moments afterwards (below)

click image for full size picture, showing helicopter (red) and smoke rising from the ridge (white)



We wish the lads the best of luck.

Maltese Web Design Numpty Revisited

Right listen up, remember "Numpty of the Year 2007" ?

No, no, not "Dick - D1g1tal numpty" this was the Maltese web design Lemon remember?

He was never officially titled Numpty 2007, but that's all about to change - it's this twat, the Maltese Web Gimp "who doesn't believe in SEO" ?

Intel shows that he is up to his old tricks again, deleting and changing sites he has had strict instructions from the owners to leave alone for more than a year now.

If this was in the interests of the owner, this would be one thing, however it is not, it is being done specifically to bait HQ, who you can be assured are now well and truly baited and were sounding a bit like a bad Tourettes attack on the radio this morning.. :)

So we have orders to let the target have a full volley of the spec ops treatment, and this time we're going to out him by name and put his trophy post right underneath his company name in the charts, and we are going to explain in full, why companies who are interested in their website doing any business on their behalf, should avoid gimp web design at all costs.

There's a command briefing this afternoon to decide appropriate action (and phrases) we are pushing for either "Maltese Numpty" or "Maltese Web Gimp" so expect to be mobilizing and moving out this evening, Gimp himself will be very embarrassed upon Googling his company name from tomorrow onwards.

watch this space

edit 10-07-09. it would appear that Intel was partial and incomplete in this case and that for reasons of diplomatic nature this Op is suspended until further notice..

So stand down, get back to your ladies.

Ibiza Girls Images Uncovered

Ok, it's not all trolling comedians and numpties around here you know, we undertake serious ops too, none more so than policing and defence of our Ibiza Girls image searches.

So this is an Ibiza girls special op uncovered, as opposed to the kind you were probably looking for .. we can do that kind of trickery here.. ;)

Keyword-wise, the SEO soldiers will immediate recognise the tactics on this post, but for the SEO civilians amongst you passing through we'll spell (some of ;) it out simple like..

Phase 1. - Manuevre our fave Ibiza girls pic belonging to Ibiza Voice into images #1 or thereabouts and then hand back SERP ownership. See Google search here Ibiza Girls

Phase 2 - Dig in and reinforce the position by further associating the picture with other terms, party girls, space girls, girls on girls, and ultimately now HQ are getting hits from just "girls" here now.

Phase 3 - Having rooted out the usurpers in the SERP hand back ownership of target image to Voice with hugely increased image ranking and hence traffic. (underway)

It has been observed however that this SERP is swarming with universal search operators, with only 3 out of 10 organic search listings making it through alive as shown on the satellite report below, so stealth has been paramount.

Can you spot the embedded SEO spec ops image sniper deeply entrenched in the SERP below?




..No? haha, give you a clue..



In your sitting room having dinner with your ladies .. ;)

This is a complex ongoing operation, and on the whole has been conducted with pinpoint laser strike accuracy to ensure minimum SEO civilian casualties as far as possible, however in an SEO war, it is inevitable there will be casualties, and for this we apologise.

Our hearts go out to those who have lost dear ones (images or sites) in these skirmishes, but it's for the good of the Ibiza girls organic & image SERPs, which you had better believe, we will defend vigorously.

As you were.

Ibiza Health Alert?

Google Alerts for Ibiza does spam us with all kinds of nonsense over the summer season but just occasionally a funny one makes it all worthwhile..

Here is one such joke post that cracked a few smiles this morning, courtesy of thedailymash.co.uk

MEGA-CLAP TERRORISES IBIZA

A MUTANT strain of gonorrhoea has laid waste to large sections of Ibiza and is threatening to invade the UK this summer, experts have warned.

Dancing in their own filth

The new breed of clap, which has proven resistant to conventional antibiotics, has already razed several nightclubs to the ground and is currently encamped in San Antonio.

The giant gonorrhoea, named 'Crotchzilla' by locals, first appeared after strange glowing lights were seen in the sky over Ibiza Town last month.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Radioactive germs must have attached themselves to the gen1tals of a local lothario, or skank.

"It will then have mutated to monstrous proportions in the dank, soggy heat of an Ibiza foam party."

Amateur footage, filmed by a local bar owner, shows Crotchzilla swatting police helicopters out of the sky and crushing British-themed bars underfoot.

One eye-witness said: "It was a bit like Cloverfield but with more suppurating gen*tal sores."

The Foreign Office said it was now inevitable the monster would reach the UK hidden inside a set of holidaymaker's ar$etraps.

A spokesman said: "We are at the mercy of Crotchzilla. All it will take is the combination of a warm, humid summer and our in-built need to f**k anything that moves after two bottles of pear cider."

Funniest Link Exchange Request 2009

Maybe only funny to Brits (expats obviously) with our inate toilet humour, but this one cracked a few battle faces into smirking on parade when it arrived this week, HQ got a spam email link request from a US SEO firm called "NoB SEO" :) ..we kid you not..

and replied with the volley below:

Nob SEO? are you serious? you do realise that nob is the English slang for weiner? :)

I dont think we can link to a company called nobSEO but you could try our young mate over at www.optimize-my-ass.com

maybe you could optimize his ass with your nobSEO? :) ..good luck with that

Well they might not want to link to them because of their silly name but we have no such qualms, so have a one way link with no recips required on us, and hearty congratulations, that name is so inspired, it's almost linkbait..

Then it's back to the latest Intel (analytics) funnies, this week we have:

• "prove you have a clue"

• "you have a clue and"

• shut up numpties

• ibiza fighting girls

• ladies puppies

• maltese girls doing it

• NTL letter cat

• Maltese "not allowed in Ibiza" :)
  

• Ibiza + girls how do I get me one?

• is it easy to pick up grils in Ibiza
  

• how do i know what spec my new ibiza is

The last of these is a question a lot of Ibiza residents have been wondering for a little while now.

Whilst the penultimate reminds us of the time last year that Brothel (Gringos) on the Ibiza -Santa Eulalia road painted "Grils" instead of girls in 4 foot letters on their newly decorated outside wall :)

Ibiza Living TV update

Right this has been a spec ops project since last summer, so its time for an update.

Many (maybe 3 or 4) of you might remember we declared Googlewar on Living TV 's Ibiza (and hence Virgin) over the pile of sh*te they tried to pass off as the real ibiza last summer.

Well when spec ops get dug into something there's no letting it lie, and as Branson has not yet apologised in person the Google harassment continues. We've linked it into the Ibiza uncovered searches so anyone looking for that gets to see it, and now we've also linked it in with Virgin cable complaints in general (because, in a way, it is, isnt it?) and are starting to see traffic from that.

There is no getting away from it, we are going to make sure anyone with any interest in Ibiza TV or Living TV Ibiza, or Virgin complaints in general, gets the opportunity to read our diatribe.

"They smile in your face, all the time they wanna slate your place the back stabbers, back stabbers, they smile in your face, all the time they wanna slate your place the back stabbers, back stabbers..."

..and don't come back until you're sorry.

Oh, and Google if you wouldn't mind awfully, can you get on and cache this >>SEO India<< please? were waiting on it.

Ok, so anyone wanting to know what actually living in Ibiza would be like follow the link, otherwise, ..as you were.

SEO India - what's the matter with you all?

Right listen up.

HQ been sorely disappointed at the lack of response to the FREE SEO INDIA link competition.

We know there are thousands of Indian SEO companies out there, 99% of whom, this link would be highly beneficial to. So instead of your constant hit and run one liner attempts on the blogs, how about someone step up to the challenge and prove that they do know what they're talking about, and that they have a well put together site.

Is this really too much to ask for a link that will do most of your SEO India serp work for you?

..Searching Google for link:www.seoibiza.com/blog/ and then trying hit and run comments on those places and our blogs is not going to get you anywhere.

Get over to the competition and prove you have a clue, and it's yours. Look the post about the competition is on the first page for:

"SEO India link" <<--Try search

And the winners link will be on the page that links to, plus of course on the comments on the competition. We see you on there via Woopra, what are you waiting for? What are you scared of?

We'll treat all entries fairly,. we promise.. ;)

Tactical Sitrep Ibiza

Breaking news.. some cheeky monkey has only gone and registered www.seospecops.com ..way to never be number #1 for your own name.. (we hope :)

The reason HQ's Numpty is so confident he won't get banned from Google is that he is doing the exact same thing, he has a bundle of hidden links to his HTML pages (that are shown through Flash) hidden behind a full screen Flash gay-scapade.. And he hasn't been banned yet, so this is obviously proof that "Google won't ban you for hidden links..." .. yes ok Dick. : -/

The amusing "Ibiza" searches are slowly returning, these made us chuckle this week..

• women commando ibiza how many - ( seriously.. :)
  

• girls going commando

• ibiza + yoga + sex :) ( ..there's a thought, haven't optimized for that yet..)
  

• the funniest music in Ibiza 2008 ( - David Guetta, no contest ;)
  

• what part of Ibiza is Danni Minogue's house
  

• Ibiza "how to blag it all summer" - got to admire their fighting spirit, down but not out.. :)
  

Seriously these are all real.

And to top it all off HQ have just announced they're shortly going to publish all their advanced tactics just for a laugh.

whatever next?

The Return of the SEO Master

We could possibly have been accused of being a bit dismissive, if not even a little mischievous in our approach to this guy in the past regarding the Superior SEO campaign, but everyone can learn, and it looks like he's got it all sorted now..

check Search Engine Spider Food.. awesome, seriously.... :)

"Tip for the day.." Do ... not .... shoot ... yourself ... in the foot! .. by thinking ....

....that you know how to approach the internet" :)

"If you need a true.. ..search engine optimzation services, then you should call me...

"I am the SEO Master, I am the wildcat SEO Master..

"I can do.. for you and your business, what no-one else can do..."

This is exactly what the dull statistical world of SEO needs, an ancient Master with

"T3H R34L 5EO" :)

We hereby retract everything we ever thought or implied about our man here, and bow before the true SEO Master.

Ibiza Numpties Puppies Ladies & Funnies

Spec ops have been a bit quiet of late, not deep undercover terrorizing a SERP near you, nor optimizin' your ladies you might be surprised to hear :)

But we found this one today and think they should be higher than their current #21 if possible, lets see what we can do.. ;)

..we haven't really had much to get our teeth properly into for a little while, and one of our number just got a new puppy :) ..so it's all been a bit laid back for a while.

HQ have been dishing out Google bashings to Numpties quite well enough without our help, but we suspect we may get an order to rank the post for his name (without including his name in it, a spec ops speciality, the linkbombing filters make it harder these days)

We would prefer to wait till the post has critical mass of IBLs and then 301 it at his actual site and see if we can swap the two over in the charts :)

..but we probably wont be allowed, "professionalism an' all that.." lol..

In the meantime this site, canucklehead.ca has been amusing us hugely, it really is very funny.

..and speaking of funnies they've been a bit slow on the analytics too of late but here's a sprinkling of spec ops hits over the last few weeks.

• beautiful ladies uncovered

• girls of ibiza uncovered

• ladies going commando

• girls in malta need help
  

• maltese girls need a man

• 2 malta girls need a man :) - nothing like a bit of optimism.
  

• horse seo :) ??!!
  

• world sex seo - wtf?? - if this is a tournament we are definitely entering :)
  

Island ladies optimized!

So the image optimization testing has been a success.

We now have the picture we chose to be #1 for Ibiza Girls belonging to Ibiza Voice (reclaimed back from the Welsh pretender a few posts ago) and showing in the right place for it's rightful owner.

And our delectable choice of young lady to champion for Maltese girls is now at the #1 spot as well, but still currently showing on Spec Ops rather than the owners blog at the moment, but we would expect that to revert back with the next few weeks..

The Mallorca girls image is also showing up at #2 in the Maltese SERP & #3 for Mallorca girls :)

All in all, we think if any of you need your island ladies given a good optimizin' you should probably come see us.. ;)

Ryanair Trolled for Links?

It couldn't have happened to a more deserving case.

Ryanair have been very effectively trolled for links in a masterclass of linkbaiting, which we are going to jump right on the end of and link at too because someone needed to troll these tools.

Jason Roe, SEO blogger noticed a slight bug on the Ryanair website and blogged about it, then it all went a bit surreal with the help and input of their genius "senior programmers" 1, 2 and 3 who appeared on the blog comments in question and showed off the kind of PR and customer care skills usually reserved for the general traveling public at large on their outrageous lastminutecharges.com website, or at their infamous check-in desks.

Our troll-alarm bells have been ringing since the start as to whether the "senior programmers" did actually work for Ryanair or if the whole thing was planned and engineered by the genius who is Jason Roe SEO ;)

..but Spec ops have done some research and are satisfied that the approach and behaviour shown to public on this blog is genetically highly similar to that of the www.ryanair.com sales website and therefore very likely came from the same place.

Contrast this to the virgin complaint letter thing from a couple of weeks ago, and you can very clearly see the class divide between Branson's slick PR handling & Ryanair's balls-out arrogance.

That said, once the robbery is actually over (you are successfully past the airport security and no further last minute charges can be compulsarily added to your booking) we have been impressed with the Ibiza to Stansted service this winter, and begrudgingly have to admit that Ryanair do ultimately supply good value for air distance covered.

If only they didn't do it so distastefully all the way through to that point we're sure everyone would be much happier with them generally.

Its not even that we begrudge paying, its that we don't like to be told its one price, then find out one surcharge (at a time) that it's something else entirely..

"...and will you also be breathing on our plane sir? that'll be 20 Euros.."

and hopefully some Ryanair muppets will come over here and have a go, where they'll find their reception much less polite ;)

Ibiza Scammer Alert!

Ok listen up.

It has come to our attention that scammers are using the ol' Western Union / DHL deposit scam by advertising apartments that seem too good to be true on local property lettings sites and trying to get the potential tenants to send money in exchange for the keys to even see the apartment.



This is a well known Western Union scam

WARNING: Never send payment by WESTERN UNION or MONEYGRAM for any reason!

This includes:

• Rental deposits
• Loan fees
• Job application or visa fees (No legitimate employer requires payment of any kind from a prospective employee)
• Making a purchase
• Or any other reason!

Sending or receiving payment by Western Union or MoneyGram is against our terms of use.

Anyone who asks for payment by Western Union or MoneyGram is a scammer.

Be wary of deals that are "too good to be true".

Watch for landlords/owners who are out of the country, travelling or cannot meet you personally.

We've seen these adverts on www.segundamano.es and www.fotocasa.es so far but they're likely to be on others too, so beware.

And really, how unlucky for them, trying to scam friends of the world renowned SEO Spec Ops group, on the internet, was a bit daft, so we now have a new Google-trolling for amusement project to get stuck right into for 2009, in our very own Ibiza 419 baiters style.

Muppets.

Edit.. as Billy the Kid allegedly used to say... "I'll make you famous"

While the cat's away..

And so the mighty Spec ops return for 2009's nonsense fresh from the slopes of Andorra where we snowboard like we optimize, ie

"balls out, let's have it!!"

...and what do we return to? ..some cheeky (Welsh!!) monkey has hijacked ours/ our mate's Ibiza-Girls pic (and hence rankings and traffic, but that is not the issue here, as we're just messing about experimenting anyway) the cardinal sin here is one of trying to pass off said Ibiza ladies pic (that we ranked #1 a while back) as bloody welsh birds out in Cardiff!! wtf!

There is no way in a million years that anyone is going to believe those luscious ladies are to be found a f***ing stag do in Cardiff anyway!! Get a grip.

This will not be tolerated lightly, believe you me you little Welsh-stag-monkey ;)

So lest anyone forget, these are IBIZA GIRLS !!



..Again, GIRLS FROM IBIZA.. got it? - we will police and defend our beloved Ibiza Google image searches and brand vigorously.

- Unless a full apology and appropriate credits to the owners of the pics - the Mighty Ibiza Voice are made within 48 hours you can consider yourself one of the Spec Ops projects for 2009.

(involving Google trolling mainly and whatever else amuses us at the time ;) so sort it out.

cheek.

Maltese Girls need Optimizing?

Right after our easy success with shuffling the Ibiza girls image searches around to be a bit more to our liking we're thinking we should probably do this for our neighbouring islands too?

Mallorca's isn't too bad, but Malta could do with some attention, between the pop stars and the Maltese Terrier dogs, its looking a bit limited..

As we now have a permanent outpost garrison stationed over here we ought to help sort it out a bit for them really, especially being as the local indigenous SEO crew don't seem to care at all, or haven't gotten round to it yet anyways...

They're probably far too busy worrying about "rankings and traffic" to get on with any of the really important SEO duties.. (And then they wonder why their ladies leave them so easily once conquered.. :)

So we dug back a bit and way back on page 3 at a lowly position #45 we found this young lady..



As it says in the caption (Click her to go there) no, Maltese Girls are not bad at all :)

..We knew that anyway, its just your image search results letting you down. ...give it a couple of weeks, Ibiza will sort it out for you ;)

Over and out.

SEO Humor - Funny Google Searches

So the latest on SEO humor round-up..

First up, another funny pi$$take blog, (well hope so anyway, even funnier otherwise) ..this guys left a couple of comments on our blogs and so will likely notice this link.. we'll see soon.. :)

..Definitely worth a look when you're bored Optimize my Ass

And the last couple of weeks have been a bit slow on the funny search hits, but we have managed to round up a few suitably dry ones, and they're on a on a proper Ibiza celebrity hunting mission this time...

-first up we have..

• Commando P*rn Guy - lol !

then the stalking begins:

• dannii minogue home Ibiza where? - lol yes we'd like to know that too :)

• Peaches Geldof Ibiza where?
  

• San Joan Ibiza Jade Jagger house

Then we have some cheerful souls obviously wishing us all the best in the current situation:

• crisis in Ibiza 2008 people have no money

• the big freeze Ibiza
  

• Ibiza f*cked

And amusingly (if somewhat predictably) the traffic to this hardly visited of places is up like 500% since the girlies did their stuff. :)

Yes.. ...well they are rather fine aren't they..? :)

But in conclusion, it does seem, strangely enough, that the global general population are more interested in (looking at pictures of) Ibiza's girls, than reading about Ibiza's SEO??!!

wierd.

Ibiza Girls Optimized!!

Remember this from 3 weekends ago? Ibiza Girls image optimization?

We basically decided that:

a) Google's impression of "Ibiza girls" didn't really do them justice..

b) We needed to experiment with image optimization sniperage a little..

Results are in, direct hit (#1 ;) with the primary target, and #8 for the secondary.



Now dont come round messing our SERPs up with your sub standard ladies any more