The Ancient Ibicenco Fighting Art of Search Engine Optimisation

Showing posts with label Malta. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Malta. Show all posts

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Maltese Web Design Numpty Revisited

Right listen up, remember "Numpty of the Year 2007" ?

No, no, not "Dick - D1g1tal numpty" this was the Maltese web design Lemon remember?

He was never officially titled Numpty 2007, but that's all about to change - it's this twat, the Maltese Web Gimp "who doesn't believe in SEO" ?

Intel shows that he is up to his old tricks again, deleting and changing sites he has had strict instructions from the owners to leave alone for more than a year now.

If this was in the interests of the owner, this would be one thing, however it is not, it is being done specifically to bait HQ, who you can be assured are now well and truly baited and were sounding a bit like a bad Tourettes attack on the radio this morning.. :)

So we have orders to let the target have a full volley of the spec ops treatment, and this time we're going to out him by name and put his trophy post right underneath his company name in the charts, and we are going to explain in full, why companies who are interested in their website doing any business on their behalf, should avoid gimp web design at all costs.

There's a command briefing this afternoon to decide appropriate action (and phrases) we are pushing for either "Maltese Numpty" or "Maltese Web Gimp" so expect to be mobilizing and moving out this evening, Gimp himself will be very embarrassed upon Googling his company name from tomorrow onwards.

watch this space

edit 10-07-09. it would appear that Intel was partial and incomplete in this case and that for reasons of diplomatic nature this Op is suspended until further notice..

So stand down, get back to your ladies.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Funniest Link Exchange Request 2009

Maybe only funny to Brits (expats obviously) with our inate toilet humour, but this one cracked a few battle faces into smirking on parade when it arrived this week, HQ got a spam email link request from a US SEO firm called "NoB SEO" :) ..we kid you not..

and replied with the volley below:
Nob SEO? are you serious? you do realise that nob is the English slang for weiner? :)

I dont think we can link to a company called nobSEO but you could try our young mate over at www.optimize-my-ass.com

maybe you could optimize his ass with your nobSEO? :) ..good luck with that
Well they might not want to link to them because of their silly name but we have no such qualms, so have a one way link with no recips required on us, and hearty congratulations, that name is so inspired, it's almost linkbait..

Then it's back to the latest Intel (analytics) funnies, this week we have:
  • "prove you have a clue"
  • "you have a clue and"
  • ibiza fighting girls
  • ladies puppies
  • Maltese "not allowed in Ibiza" :)
  • Ibiza + girls how do I get me one?
  • is it easy to pick up grils in Ibiza
  • how do i know what spec my new ibiza is
The last of these is a question a lot of Ibiza residents have been wondering for a little while now.

Whilst the penultimate reminds us of the time last year that Brothel (Gringos) on the Ibiza -Santa Eulalia road painted "Grils" instead of girls in 4 foot letters on their newly decorated outside wall :)

Monday, March 2, 2009

Island ladies optimized!

So the image optimization testing has been a success.

We now have the picture we chose to be #1 for Ibiza Girls belonging to Ibiza Voice (reclaimed back from the Welsh pretender a few posts ago) and showing in the right place for it's rightful owner.

Ibiza Girls optimized

And our delectable choice of young lady to champion for Maltese girls is now at the #1 spot as well, but still currently showing on Spec Ops rather than the owners blog at the moment, but we would expect that to revert back with the next few weeks..

Maltese Girls optimized

The Mallorca girls image is also showing up at #2 in the Maltese SERP & #3 for Mallorca girls :)

All in all, we think if any of you need your island ladies given a good optimizin' you should probably come see us.. ;)

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Maltese Girls need Optimizing?


Right after our easy success with shuffling the Ibiza girls image searches around to be a bit more to our liking we're thinking we should probably do this for our neighbouring islands too?

Mallorca's isn't too bad, but Malta could do with some attention, between the pop stars and the Maltese Terrier dogs, its looking a bit limited..

As we now have a permanent outpost garrison stationed over here we ought to help sort it out a bit for them really, especially being as the local indigenous SEO crew don't seem to care at all, or haven't gotten round to it yet anyways...

They're probably far too busy worrying about "rankings and traffic" to get on with any of the really important SEO duties.. (And then they wonder why their ladies leave them so easily once conquered.. :)

So we dug back a bit and way back on page 3 at a lowly position #45 we found this young lady..

maltese girls

As it says in the caption (Click her to go there) no, Maltese Girls are not bad at all :)

..We knew that anyway, its just your image search results letting you down. ...give it a couple of weeks, Ibiza will sort it out for you ;)

Over and out.

Friday, December 5, 2008

Malta & SEO ?

Ok listen up.

Word's coming in of dissent, or maybe even a small insurgency bubbling up over in our occupied territories, the Archipeligo of Malta SEO.

Spec ops have been dispatched with orders to deal with the uprising quickly, but without upsetting the locals too much if at all possible.

It's always the same in any of our occupied territory SERPs the natives do sometimes do get a bit restless but it's for their own good.

It's like the Roman invasions of old, we build infrastructures and pave the way for SEO progress (civilisation) to begin, even if their Darwinian clocks do run a little slower than ours.

After all it's Malta or more precisely Gozo where they "don't even believe in SEO" :)

...and even some who do believe in it, aren't very good at it, as HQ were contacted during the week by a local Maltese business with a website that was supposedly already under the care of a "local SEO company" for a year, and yet when we looked at their site, it was completely unoptimized.
Every page title was identical, and yet this "SEO company" were shameless enough to still put their link on the site.
Somewhat embarassing for them, but not surprising because they're not an SEO company at all, but rather just another web designer trying to cash in on SEO, and we all know what happens then don't we....?

But this company wasn't a good fit for us and we're far too busy to take on clients who arent a good fit, so we agreed it wasnt suitable for either party and disengaged.

If any of the local rebellion would like a hot lead on who may be currently looking for a good SEO company in Malta, please do get in touch on the details over at HQ and we'll pass the lead on.
(Tip, it will be a much quicker and easier way of getting SEO work than trying to outrank us ;) )
Ibiza out.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

CQSEO Tactics - The Art of SERP War

Ok, as HQ seem to have dropped any semblance of sanity and broken every military convention in the book by openly announcing our military SEO Demonstration objectives, thereby giving the enemy (opposition) every chance to dig in and fortify their positions, and / or ambush us on the way ap we thought we'd join in the fun by explaining a little more about our Close Quarter SEO Tactics and some of the less well known weaponry we use..

SEO SERP Reconaissance - SEO Spec Ops primary task is Recon.

You have to know your enemy, from upclose and dirty. They will often be very strong and able to easily repel simple frontal attacks.

But we usually have in our favour the sheer complacence that often comes with a stable #1 for a while, people get used to it, and think it is rightfully theirs, which allows for well planned undercover spec ops & teams to open the doors and walk right in.

So we firstly study their keyword / SERP performance, identify their strongholds (dont attack there) and all their areas of weakness (keyword coverage, content / site structure and inbound linkpower)

This is basic SOPs, using the Google search operators, allintitle: , allinurl: and allinanchor: will give you a very good idea exactly how strong they are, and where.

That site strongly dug in at #1 could be there for a variety of reasons, including superpowerful links, age & trust, or more and better content, or often justbecause they're just better organised (optimised) than the rest. It's important to know exactly why that is as best you can why that is before mounting your assault, so you can aim at their blind side/s.

Then you look at their logistics and backup organisation, keyword research-wise. This is where we mount open OPs (Observation Posts) and also use the embedded undercover operators.

Open OPs include - Google's updated keyword research tool & any of the proprietary backlink checkers, we have classified weaponry we cannot discuss that we use for this, however Yahoo's sitesearch link: command in combination with Joost de Valk's SEO firefox plugin will give adequate information for SEO Civilians to get the picture.

Then we radio into our embedded (spy) operators who have been working in an amongst the enemy for a while gathering intel into their operations for the latest update.

Whilst we obviously cannot divulge everything about them we are safe to say that some of our operators use this kind of technology to gather as much information about enemy movements and positions as possible..
..which combined with our knowledge of their general organisation should start to show where they may be vulnerable to attack.

Probe their defences

..at which point we call in the (keyword) sniper team with orders to engage if the opportunity presents itself and take a long range pot shot or two at them to see how they react..

This is usually in the form of a carefully structured blog post or two from an established blog with sufficient strength to take shots from the halfway line and punch in close, and really see how strong and well defended they are, Sometimes we even get lucky, and maybe even take out any sentries caught napping or with their pants down..

The recon team then start sending out constant fighting patrols from the OP to probe the enemy perimeters and really see how well guarded they are, and RV (rendezvous) with the embedded troops inside who will let us know exactly where to punch through, and lately have often unlocked the gates Trojan Horse style for the Fighting Patrol to walk right in, (at which point it is all over for their ladies, they are coming with us.. ;) )

For the SEO Civilians amongst you this military jargon probably doesnt mean much so I'll try to use simple examples in civvy language you may understand.

Say we were talking about the keyphrase " Ibiza widgets" as the primary objective, but the enemy are heavily dug in and defended there, and it could maybe take more manpower and resources that we are prepared to commit, and probably a long drawn out an bloody battle that we have no guarantee of even winning ultimately to take the position..

But research shows possibly that "Ibiza widget" is not as heavily searched, (hence optimised for) and sometimes shows different results from the plural, - which is always good as it indicates a lack of total dominance by the enemy) nor are "widgets Ibiza", "widgets in Ibiza" "red widgets Ibiza" blue widgets Ibiza" etc..

You get the idea..? So some of those are targeted by the keyword sniper teams initially, and any success obtained is first fortified and backed up, and then we build from it.

Conquer / Consolidate

Once we own "red widget Ibiza" and "Ibiza widget in blue" the crossover effect starts to give strength to the central theme of "Ibiza widget" and extra reinforcements turning up from "Ibiza green widget" will only strengthen the cause, until we have basically surrounded and infiltrated the enemy position. Structure and write your site and content to target the long tail and related terms, and the easier terms first, letting it build naturally until you can look the dug-in forces right in the eyes and mount the final push for "Ibiza widgets"

Regroup, reinforce further, and then go again..

..At which point (only then) do they usually notice that they are surrounded, outnumbered, out-manoeuvred, out flanked, and will quite often just surrender without the final battle even being fought.



We've done this in Malta, Gozo & Mallorca recently, all of which have folded very quickly under the combined stealth and strength of the Ibicenc SEO Warriors, and we currently have campaigns underway in various stages of progress in Spain, India, SEO for Flash, simple / easy SEO, that kind of thing.



The CQSEO Strategy & tactics can be hence summarised as:

Reconaissance, Intel gathering & analysis, sniper teams, probing fighting patrols, infiltration, consolidation of victories, regroup, and do it all over again, or..

Divide, Probe, Conquer, Consolidate, Regroup.. and on ad infinitum until the whole Widget world is under (y)our control... ;P

It's beachtime for SEO Ibiza again, hasta luego amigos.. over and out.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

SEO Web Design Malta

Right, news has reached us of some mild insurgency (well, lip anyway) on the SEO Malta & Gozo campaign. ..Apparently some local numpty "doesn't believe in SEO or something" ?

..after we stopped laughing (several hours) we decided he obviously needs a bit of a Google SERP kicking to drive the point home.

The temptation to put this deluded rebellion down once and for all by outranking this plum for his own company name is very strong, but as we always try to act graciously in our conquered lands, this will always be the last resort..

So instead we thought we would just go after their prime terms web design malta :)




We warn you, do not make the boys from Blog HQ bring the SEO War to you, because they will get really rough, and we promise you, that you will prefer cooperation and the far gentler art of SEO on the beach.

As usual, the terms are:
..and of course mandatory swearing of your undying allegiance to Ibiza Global Radio.

We await your surrender forthwith.


 

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