New Rules of Engagement

Right things have gotten a bit slack round here, even for spec ops troops.

Whilst everybody knows the elite deep cover troops don't have to conform to the usual military nonsense, berets and the like, there's still no excuse for a non-disciplined demeanour and so High Command have been drafting up a new ruleset.

However on seeing the (Metropolitan!!) University of Leeds new etiquette that seems perfectly reasonable so we thought we'd just go with that instead. Highlights as below:

• Make sure your underwear fits and is unobtrusive

• Decorum during dinner should be maintained so as not to cause insult to your hostess

• Refrain from clinking glasses during a toast

• Consider whether your eyebrows are a distraction to others
  

We think that should smarten things up considerably around here.

Got it? right, as you were.

SEO India Serp under Siege

Reports are coming in from our front line embedded journalist that the shock troops have struck fiercely deep in SEO Services India territory, and the battle is nearing the final stages..

At Ibiza HQ this evening the deeply handsome General in charge of things said:

"The Indian SEO community were given every chance to comply with the resolution but for reasons best known to themselves decided not to hand over the girl.

Bad decision, now they'll have to suffer the consequences.. Unfortunately these troops were so deep undercover we couldn't have called it off even if we could remember what the secret codes were..

Anyway it won't be long now, #30's is the virtual equivalent of the soldiers kicking your gate in and storming up the garden path.."

The stock markets braced themselves this evening for the shockwaves that will inevitably ripple through the financial markets, and if you are in the SEO Services India area our advice is to stay indoors and hide under your lounge table.



There's a special phone number for concerned friends and relatives to call, we, er just cant remember what it is..

SEO Troll

So it took its time but SEO trolling seems to have gone overground. For anyone who doesn't know what an internet troll is:

An "Internet troll" or "Forum Troll" or "Message Board Troll" is a person who posts outrageous message to bait people to answer. Forum Troll delights in sowing discord on the forums.

A troll is someone who inspires flaming rhetoric, someone who is purposely provoking and pulling people into flaming discussion. Flaming discussions usually end with name calling and a flame war.

Well obviously seo trolling is just the next level of things.

"Trolling with ability to place your nonsense high up in Google for terms they see"

We spoke out in defence of our Island against "Original Production's" version of Ibiza for Living TV back in the summer, and will often let rip in the pursuit of humor, but this takes the biscuit even for hardened spec ops troops such as ourselves.

This guy has actually set up a purpose-made blog, specifically to troll local businesses, and totally cringingly, is basically taking out his sour grapes on "proposed to" clients who've knocked him back on quotes!

No really, check... Sh*t - websites - nofollowed because we are laughing at him, not vouching for him, and are certainly not falling for linkbait as bad as this, and the boss nags us for being unprofessional on here.

This man's company is called "Clever Marketing" but we kind of doubt that now, and think he'll have to come up with something a bit better than this to catch us in the seo services Spain searches. Let us know how the "clever Marbella marketing" plan goes eh?

Marbella lol. might as well be San Antonio...

SEO Humor

Ok it's back to analytics for some more amusing longtail hits in the funny things people typed over the last couple of months.

Mostly from here, the spec ops blog, but a couple (with permission) from random client & friends blogs and sites. We've separated them out into SEO humor and non-seo humor as not everybody thinks SEO geekiness is as funny as we do.

So start off with non-seo related humor, and we can see the way you dirty animals are all thinking - we've had to replace letters with * in places as we dont want google thinking we're one of those blogs, but we've hits (some from images too) from:

• the fittest lady in the world
• nude female dj
• site da smokin
• luxury s*x furniture
• "wants to go to ibiza badly"
• bad things that could happen to a tourist in Ibiza
• may i have your attention please return to Ibiza
• giving finger
• sh*t workers Ibiza 2008
• desperados Ibiza free
• Ibiza is my spiritual home
• three in one superior snippers
• free ibiza uncovered p*rn.com
• ibiza porn government
• ibiza sh*t party 08
• inebriated dictionary
• ibiza beautiful people naked
• richest person in Ibiza + address
• post free ads in the london website
• the finger

And then we have the SEO related hits, most amusing (to SEO's obviously.. )

• shit seo -
  
• fit lady seo
• dofollow blogs dj equipment comments posting
• what is seo assistants
• what is blog integration
• how to do keyword sniping
• what is keyword snipper
  

we are actually number one for Shit SEO after Living TV's Ibiza's googlebashing and don't really want it :) ..so we'll try and help a new site take their rightful place

The "what is" and "how to" queries wouldn't be so funny except you know these are the next people to put SEO websites up and proclaim they are SEOs on DP, usually with some sort of basic level question about "how to" in public on the forum. :)

edit 12-11-08 - today from blog HQ. "how can we made seo expert" :)

and as for mr "dofollow blogs dj equipment posting" ..well you found us, we're dofollow, why didn't you comment? :)

....its a funny old game.